2. How to overcome feelings of hatred and revenge towards someone : stressLess-life

How to overcome feelings of hatred and revenge towards someone

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I'm 24F and three years ago when I was 21 I met a guy who I dated briefly but we had a great time together. Long story short, he ghosted me out of nowhere despite making specific plans to see me again and I was left traumatized wondering whether I had hallucinated the whole thing.

I tried my best to move on and meet other guys but for a year, I was deeply sad and internalized what he did. He was very attractive and I started to believe it's because I was too ugly for him.

He then came back a year later and took advantage of my feelings for him to get me to have sex with him. Cycle repeats, ghosted again. He then periodically did this.

Before anyone goes through my post history, I do need therapy and I do have a lot of issues that made me keep going back to him so I do blame myself partly.

But now he's 26 and dating a pretty, skinny 21 year old girl in university whose actually a lot like me in personality. I shouldn't have stalked but from her posts I see all the things he's done for her including buying her gifts, taking her on trips. I know that's life and sometimes people don't have feelings for you. But if you're really not attracted to someone, how cruel could you be to use them again and again.

He tried to come back again recently, and we were talking for a while. No indication that he was in a relationship and I thought he had broken up with that girl. Out of curiosity, a day after Valentines I checked this girls posts to make sure he wasn't cheating. I noticed that she posted a story from the night before from what looked like the inside of his car, and dinner. I think his hands were in that picture. I could be wrong and it was a different guy but I'm pretty sure.

Interestingly he texted me the next day at 2pm to see if I was free and I actually wasn't. He made it clear this time that he didn't want a relationship with me. He also hasn't followed me on social media this time which makes me think he's hiding something.

He destroyed my mental health and self esteem when i was 21, wasted my time repeatedly, to the point that I was diagnosed with depression and now struggle with intense body image issues.

A part of me wants to ruin both his and her life. I want this 21 year old girl to see the messages he sent me to destroy her soul the way he did mine. I want him to suffer from the consequences of her finding out that he's cheating. It hurts me so much that he used me because I didn't look like the girls he wanted.

I know the best revenge is moving on but I'm struggling so hard to meet someone new that I actually like. I would do anything to move on, be happy, and forget him, and come to terms with what happened but I just haven't met the right person. I'm consumed with anger, hatred, revenge, self hatred, hatred towards him and her. I feel my my capacity for empathy become smaller every day as I sink deeper into depression.

I don't even know where to start with healing and overcoming these feelings.

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