2. How do you stand up for yourself? : stressLess-life

How do you stand up for yourself?

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Hi everybody. I’ve been working on self love since a devastating breakup in November, but no matter how hard I try I don’t know how to show myself any self respect. I don’t know how to stop letting my family, roommates, friends, coworkers- just about anyone really, walking all over me. From passing insulting remarks, to accepting“favors” that ruin my personal time, or never getting to make even simple decisions, I just feel like I let everyone in my life use me and treat me like a human doormat.

Part of the reason the breakup was so devastating was that I let my ex treat me horrifically for the last year or so of our relationship, thinking that if I didn’t put up a fight or complain, he would still be happy enough with me to stay- but he dumped me (twice actually) in horrific fashion.

My roommates seem constantly upset with me for doing normal things like talking quietly to myself, coming home after 11pm (we’re all adults), wanting to have friends over- or god forbid, have sex in the privacy of my own room. But the few times I’ve mentioned something they did upset me, they get incredibly defensive and even outright hostile (in public too). I just feel like I am expected to take whatever abuse but when I protest, I am the mean one.

I know I am a natural kind, loving person, but I love that about myself. But in being kind, I feel like people just use that as a sign that they can treat me however they want without me giving any negative reaction. It’s like I give an inch, but everyone in my life takes a mile. It’s not like I’m not opinionated either, but every time I try to assert myself, someone ends up angry with me, but everyone else seems happy as long as I let them step all over me. How do I continue to be a kind person without people taking it as a pass to treat me as poorly as they please?

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