2. What to do if you’re scared? (trigger: DV) : stressLess-life

What to do if you’re scared? (trigger: DV)

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Hi, I broke up with my ex-partner a few months ago. It was a nasty break-up, and I had to call the police because of domestic violence—he refused to leave our shared apartment after becoming violent.

The police asked me if there had been any violence in the past, and I answered truthfully, mentioning a few incidents. I told them that I didn’t want those "old" incidents to be prosecuted, only the most recent one, because I was planning to get a restraining order, and for that, I needed to report the latest incident. However, I unknowingly mentioned a crime that, by law in my country, must be reported and investigated, regardless of whether the victim formally presses charges. At the time, I didn’t realize this, but as a result, that incident is now being prosecuted.

A few weeks later, my ex-partner retaliated by accusing me of the same things I had reported about him. There is no evidence to support his claims because these things never happened, but, of course, the authorities still have to investigate the accusations. I have a lawyer who is handling all legal matters for me, but this situation has made my life unbearable.

For months now, I have barely left my home. I feel trapped, vulnerable, and terrified that my ex will continue to destroy my life—or even physically harm me. He still lives in the same city, but I have no idea where exactly. Knowing he is out there, possibly watching me or planning something, makes me anxious all the time.

What can I do to feel safer? I can’t keep living like this for months on end. It’s draining me, and I am reaching my limit. All I want is to go to therapy in peace and process everything that has happened. But right now, I feel like I can’t even do that. Do you have any ideas how to feel safer and calmer in this situation?

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