2. How to focus on myself? : stressLess-life

How to focus on myself?

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Hey guys, let me tell you a little story. Back in May I met a foreign girl on a dating app here in my city, we immediately got along and scheduled a date after a few days talking. That date was the best date I’ve ever been. After that day we hung out twice and it was always so much fun.

Mid June she told me she was feeling very lost (she had moved countries to try a better life here in my city) and had so many doubts in her mind, she was not ready to keep going nor having a relationship. That shit hurt because I was starting to like her more and more, but whatever, time passed and “healed”.

I texted her like a month later to check on her and I ended up finding out that she had gone back to her country and was working there.

Back in September I deleted all the girls I have ever had a hook up with and didn’t talk anymore from my instagram but this girl, idk we had something so nice, I felt like keep following her and let her following me.

One random day she answers a story that I posted and we begin to chat. Long story short she wants to come to my country again to do a masters degree and she’s also on an interview process for a job here in my city. Regardless of that, she’s coming to visit my city from Jan 1st to Jan 12th (she has a very dear friend from her country that lives here for a long time) and she suggested that we meet, says she misses me and all that.

I like the idea, she was the best “thing” I had this year and I’m not with anyone at the moment. But thing is I fall easily and she’s definitely going back to her country after those 12 days here, I don’t even know when or if she would ever come back here (to live, I mean), even though she intends to.

It’s be great to meet her a couple of times, be intimate with her and all that, but then it’ll all be gone after her trip’s come to an end.

I have so many reasons to be excited for the next weeks/months of my live, but it seems like the only thing I can think of is how it’ll be with her, if we will get along again, if we will have sex and enjoy each other company. Almost like I have a great expectation on her arrival but I don’t want to get attached bc I know she’ll leave.

And as it gets closer to her arrival here, I feel more attached and anxious, like checking my phone to see if she replied, sending funny and flirty things on instagram to her etc.

Sorry for the long text, maybe I just needed to get this out, but as I’ve been hurt many times before and also by her back in June when she said she didn’t want it anymore (I don’t blame her for it, she wasn’t ready, but still hurts), I don’t want to feel any of that again and I think that I should be more rational sometimes.

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