2. Tips on how to break free from the comparison trap : stressLess-life
Tips on how to break free from the comparison trap
https://ift.tt/H4MLawlOften, we feel inadequate or not good enough because we compare ourselves to others. This mindset of comparison is a significant barrier that hinders us from living a life that truly aligns with our authentic selves. In today's article, I will delve deeper into this comparison mindset and provide some strategies to shift it.
Growing up, I always admired my classmates or friends who had attractive physical looks or came from affluent families. Sometimes, when I reflected on this, I experienced feelings of anger, jealousy, and even resentment. I remember thinking, 'Why is the universe so unfair? Some people have everything while others have nothing.' One day, I had a conversation with a friend, and she said, 'Everyone has their own struggles; it's just something you couldn't see.' I didn't believe it at the time. However, as I grew older and got to know people on a deeper level, I began to develop a new understanding. We are all uniquely different, and we all face different struggles. No one has a perfect life. Those individuals who seem perfect on the outside may be concealing their painful moments. The moment I started to empathize with the challenges of people I used to envy, I stopped comparing myself to others.
Sometimes, people appear to have fewer issues or problems because they manage them differently. It might be easier for someone to turn their life around if they have access to more resources or a supportive network. If you don't have these advantages, it doesn't mean you don't have a chance to turn things around. You may need to invest more time and effort and cultivate your resourcefulness. However, it's through this process that you build your inner strength. It's also a journey of self-discovery that brings you the most fulfillment. When you look back, the most memorable moments in your life are not the easy, smooth ones but the moments when you overcame difficulties and emerged stronger. When you start comparing yourself to others who seem to have fewer problems, view it not as a disadvantage but as an opportunity—an opportunity for growth and learning.
Another essential aspect of overcoming a comparison mindset is discovering your uniqueness. When you are certain about who you are, what you value, what you excel at, and what your innate talents are, you naturally let go of the comparison mindset. I firmly believe that each of us is born with different talents, gifts, and purposes. The only path to fulfillment is by living our purpose and utilizing our unique talents. To discover your uniqueness, ponder these questions: What are you naturally good at? What do you find easy to learn? What activity brings you joy and puts you in a state of flow? What do others most often compliment you on?
Sometimes, we are aware of our talents and uniqueness, but we lack the courage to pursue them due to external expectations from society or others. There are many voices around us that divert us from our true purpose. This is when you must tap into your inner wisdom, follow your heart, and stand up for yourself, regardless of what others say. Ask yourself, 'Am I doing this for my own well-being, or am I doing it to please others? Is this what I want, or is it what others expect from me?' A good indicator is that if something aligns with your purpose, you will enjoy doing it regardless of whether others are doing it, succeeding or failing, or performing better or worse than you. On the flip side, if you're doing something solely to compete with others or simply aiming to win, you will likely feel drained and stressed in the process. This is also a sign that it may not be the path to true fulfillment for you. Pay attention to the areas in which you often compare yourself to others, whether it's your job, your relationships, your finances, or your physical appearance. The truth is, whatever you compare to others is an area where you need to delve deeper to discover your uniqueness. Instead of asking, 'How can I be better than others?' ask yourself, 'How can I do it or see it differently so I can find fulfillment in this process?
Written by Tracey Zhang, a certified life & transitions coach who helps individuals heal, grow, and thrive through major life transitions.
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