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2. When there is enough self-love, there is less need of love from others : stressLess-life

When there is enough self-love, there is less need of love from others

Songs about break up and unrequited love are so sad, but I'd guess they are very relatable for everyone. People might commonly say or feel, "I can't live without him/her."

My past love life was filled with rejections and unrequited love. Many wasted years being sad, lonely, and unhappy. I was so dumb, and hung on mentally and emotionally for years to women that rejected me.

Now I have a partner, but we have dead bedroom (might be how it goes in long-term relationship?). At times, I fantasized about cheating (partly because besides my partner, I haven't had sex with anyone else before, and I felt like I'd miss something if I never have sex with others before I die), but I know it's wrong to cheat, and no one else wants me. Whenever my crushes showed signs of disinterest or rejection (e.g. she was just being friendly, she didn't want anything more with me), I felt so sad. I kept craving for love/attention that I shouldn't and can't get.

But life doesn't and shouldn't have to be that way. My newest idea was to try to love myself so much, that I have less need for love from others. I could have this fire of warmth in my heart for myself. I love me because I try to be a good person, I work hard, I try to be honest/truthful, etc. But above all, I love me because I should. I love myself like the best lover would, like how I would love another if I'm really passionate and caring about them.

Living with this self-love for the past few days, I feel more centered, and less like my feelings are in the wind, subject to how others treat or feel about me. I feel like even if I don't have sex with anyone else, I'm just fine, because I love me, and that love is enough. I feel like I could love me, even as I grow older and uglier or less competent in multiple ways, because it's not about my attributes, it's as close to unconditional love as maybe one could get. The only condition is that there's this self, that I should and could love.

"Learning to love yourself, it is the greatest love of all." -Lyrics by Linda Creed, for the song "Greatest Love of All", sung by Whitney Houston

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