2. I care too deeply, too fast and it's making me less kind to myself : stressLess-life
I care too deeply, too fast and it's making me less kind to myself
Hey I'm 20F and I feel like I care and love too deep, too quickly. I'm not saying this to get compliments, it's just something I've noticed.
As a bit of context, a lot has happened this year for me (so I probably am more emotional) including not doing well on my MCAT twice, being broken up with an amazing person who meant a lot to me, lost my job, and my grandma (arguably one of the most important people to me and is my second mom) passed away and wasn't able to attend her funeral.
What I mean is that I can spend hours worrying about someone and I would do every possible thing to make it known that they are cared for. I remember all of the little details and events, making sure that I have it somewhere I remember, make note of it if I see something reminiscent when I'm out, and am sure to celebrate them. I could wait an entire day, cancel my plans, and struggle to do my tasks because I'm waiting to hear from people, or take weeks to make/find something special for birthdays/events despite having school, responsibilities, and projects that I need to allocate my time to. If none of it is reciprocated or stopped, I still feel strongly to make sure that I made the other person know they mattered even though that room doesn't have space for me anymore.
But when I make a mistake, feel sad, or I feel like I said something wrong, I completely isolate myself from everyone for months and feel the need to be occupied, whether it's keeping my nose in my books, or just punishing myself by not allowing me to do things I enjoy because I feel like I deserve it.
At the end of the day, when I look back, I don't regret the times and people I gave my heart out to. I'm grateful to be able to have love to give and am able to give it out so freely. I keep believing that if I have negative feelings towards any situations that leave me feeling empty, that I'm selfish for assuming when the reality might not be what I think it is.
I have this big dream of making an impact and carrying compassion towards others through my career, and life. I know I won't be able to do so healthily if I continue to neglect myself but I don't know how to
In short:
I really struggle to give the same attention and compassion I give others, towards myself.
Why is it so easy to forgive and put my all into everything and everyone around me, but it's so difficult for me to prioritize my wellbeing?
I'm sorry for the huge blurt, but I'm hoping to get anything from self-experience, advice or guidance to start feeling whole in my own shell without feeling so selfish.
I really appreciate anyone whose taken the time to read this!
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Hey I'm 20F and I feel like I care and love too deep, too quickly. I'm not saying this to get compliments, it's just something I've noticed.
As a bit of context, a lot has happened this year for me (so I probably am more emotional) including not doing well on my MCAT twice, being broken up with an amazing person who meant a lot to me, lost my job, and my grandma (arguably one of the most important people to me and is my second mom) passed away and wasn't able to attend her funeral.
What I mean is that I can spend hours worrying about someone and I would do every possible thing to make it known that they are cared for. I remember all of the little details and events, making sure that I have it somewhere I remember, make note of it if I see something reminiscent when I'm out, and am sure to celebrate them. I could wait an entire day, cancel my plans, and struggle to do my tasks because I'm waiting to hear from people, or take weeks to make/find something special for birthdays/events despite having school, responsibilities, and projects that I need to allocate my time to. If none of it is reciprocated or stopped, I still feel strongly to make sure that I made the other person know they mattered even though that room doesn't have space for me anymore.
But when I make a mistake, feel sad, or I feel like I said something wrong, I completely isolate myself from everyone for months and feel the need to be occupied, whether it's keeping my nose in my books, or just punishing myself by not allowing me to do things I enjoy because I feel like I deserve it.
At the end of the day, when I look back, I don't regret the times and people I gave my heart out to. I'm grateful to be able to have love to give and am able to give it out so freely. I keep believing that if I have negative feelings towards any situations that leave me feeling empty, that I'm selfish for assuming when the reality might not be what I think it is.
I have this big dream of making an impact and carrying compassion towards others through my career, and life. I know I won't be able to do so healthily if I continue to neglect myself but I don't know how to
In short:
I really struggle to give the same attention and compassion I give others, towards myself.
Why is it so easy to forgive and put my all into everything and everyone around me, but it's so difficult for me to prioritize my wellbeing?
I'm sorry for the huge blurt, but I'm hoping to get anything from self-experience, advice or guidance to start feeling whole in my own shell without feeling so selfish.
I really appreciate anyone whose taken the time to read this!
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