2. Really struggling to give myself some grace : stressLess-life

Really struggling to give myself some grace

Recently had a rough breakup and really struggling to give myself some grace. I did have a part in the relationship falling apart when I made her feel deprioritized because of poor communication on an issue. She came to me about it and I made changes but not enough to make her feel good about it. She had her part too not being fully honest with me or herself about where she was really at. We excitedly shopped for engagement rings and 10 days later she ended things after feeling a weight off her shoulders during a trip home to family. There were other things too. In the end she wasn’t willing to fight for the relationship and figure things out while I was.

Either way her behavior in the breakup and after while we still lived together for 6 weeks was really tough to experience, disrespectful and dishonest. Yet I give her grace with explanations like coping mechanisms etc.

Me though? I can’t stop looking at where I needed to be better for her and for myself. I kick myself for not seeing her burnout. I want validation from her that she hurt me as well. I took full accountability and apologized truly for my actions and made sure she knew I understood where I hurt her.

She’s taken no accountability and I continue to excuse it. I just keep kicking myself for my part and excusing hers and how she’s made me feel like I don’t matter, like I mean nothing and was not valuable enough to fight for after 3 years

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