2. My attachment to my married friend : stressLess-life
My attachment to my married friend
Hey everyone, I really need some advice because I’m stuck in this super rough loop of anxious attachment, and it’s messing with my friendship. I’m a woman, and my friend is also a woman we’re both bi. About a year ago, we had a thing, kind of a situationship. It was fun, we clicked, but like most of those things, it faded. I realized I was in love with her (I still am) and I told her how I felt. She doesn’t feel the same, and we got closure, so now we’re just friends. But ever since she got married, I can’t shake this feeling that she’s pulling away. I don’t know maybe it’s jealousy, but I’m okay with her being married as long as she stays emotionally close to me like, talking to me and needing me for support.
Is that messed up to think like that? I mean, she’s always been super private she shares some stuff, but most of it is about him. She talks about his body, how he kisses her, all the excitement. They haven’t had sex yet, waiting for the wedding night. And every time she says how he’s touching her or kissing her, I feel this sharp, gut-punch of jealousy. I even compare myself to him like, is kissing a man better than kissing a woman? Do you feel in love with him? I know I shouldn’t ask that. And I don’t want her to think I’m still not over her, because if she knew, she’d pull away, and I’m so scared of that.
I keep thinking about her. I know we had something, but it’s gone we’re just friends now. But still, I feel so insecure every time she talks about him. I spiral, thinking I wasn’t enough. I’m terrified of losing what we had even though it’s over.
I don’t want to think like this. I don’t want to lose my friend. We work together, so cutting her off isn’t an option I can’t do that. I just want to get better. I don’t want these thoughts to run the show. I want to keep our friendship steady and calm. So please, if anyone has real advice whether it’s about handling jealousy or just calming these anxious loops I need something practical. I just can’t let go, even though I know I need to.
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" Forget the past; look forward to the future, for the best things are yet to come. ..... "
Hey everyone, I really need some advice because I’m stuck in this super rough loop of anxious attachment, and it’s messing with my friendship. I’m a woman, and my friend is also a woman we’re both bi. About a year ago, we had a thing, kind of a situationship. It was fun, we clicked, but like most of those things, it faded. I realized I was in love with her (I still am) and I told her how I felt. She doesn’t feel the same, and we got closure, so now we’re just friends. But ever since she got married, I can’t shake this feeling that she’s pulling away. I don’t know maybe it’s jealousy, but I’m okay with her being married as long as she stays emotionally close to me like, talking to me and needing me for support.
Is that messed up to think like that? I mean, she’s always been super private she shares some stuff, but most of it is about him. She talks about his body, how he kisses her, all the excitement. They haven’t had sex yet, waiting for the wedding night. And every time she says how he’s touching her or kissing her, I feel this sharp, gut-punch of jealousy. I even compare myself to him like, is kissing a man better than kissing a woman? Do you feel in love with him? I know I shouldn’t ask that. And I don’t want her to think I’m still not over her, because if she knew, she’d pull away, and I’m so scared of that.
I keep thinking about her. I know we had something, but it’s gone we’re just friends now. But still, I feel so insecure every time she talks about him. I spiral, thinking I wasn’t enough. I’m terrified of losing what we had even though it’s over.
I don’t want to think like this. I don’t want to lose my friend. We work together, so cutting her off isn’t an option I can’t do that. I just want to get better. I don’t want these thoughts to run the show. I want to keep our friendship steady and calm. So please, if anyone has real advice whether it’s about handling jealousy or just calming these anxious loops I need something practical. I just can’t let go, even though I know I need to.
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