2. Is my self-love really that low? : stressLess-life
Is my self-love really that low?
I am 26 years old. I have a good job and I am considered physically attractive. I am a kind and sensitive person; unfortunately, I cannot be harsh with people. I am very emotional. My husband is 40 years old, but he looks like he's around 30 years old when seen from the outside, and he appears to be a very stern person. We've been married for two years. He is passionate about sports—training six days a week—and owns his own business. He is very wealthy, but extremely stingy and hates spending money.
We have been together for five years. Before we got married, I had countless doubts because I had seen so many negative signs. Despite his very good financial situation, I moved into his bachelor pad. Although I was hurt by this, I ignored it due to economic circumstances; I thought there was no need to spend money unnecessarily. Actually, what really wore me down wasn't financial issues, but emotional ones. For example, when I told him I couldn't find a wedding dress, he said to me, "that's your problem," and an hour later he regretted saying that. I still don't know what kept me in that relationship, but I still got married.
The first months of our marriage were a complete nightmare. He would get angry and shout at the slightest thing. One day, he yelled at me just because I woke up later than him and questioned what kind of woman I was. According to him, women should wake up before their husbands. Another time, before our honeymoon, I was going to use her credit card for the first time; I bought a lipstick while buying a towel, and she said to me, "Are you a thief? You should have asked me first." said." I've never used your card again since that day.
Thousands of similar incidents occurred. He would shout, I would cry, then he would regret it.
By the end of the first year, I became emotionally numb. I changed. I became someone who could say no and stand up for myself, but deep down I became emotionless and lost my emotional connection. Then the roles shifted somewhat. Unfortunately, I have also completely lost my sexual desire; I haven't been able to have a close relationship with him for about six months. This isn't working.
To be honest, he's calmer now and makes more of an effort to make me happy, but work and sports are always his priorities.
I am both a student and a working woman. Last night, I came home and prepared dinner. Since I was tired, I asked if she could clean the kitchen after returning from the gym. This led to a major argument. She said that the kitchen was my responsibility and that I had to clean up the mess I had made myself. Naturally, I experienced a major emotional collapse.
I think I know what I should do, but I can't. Sometimes I even look for flaws in myself. During the discussion, he told me, "I pay the bills, so you have to do it too." said. But the house we live in already belongs to him. Apart from that, he only pays the bills, and when we eat out, he usually pays the bill. I live on my own salary. I don't receive any extra financial support from him. Additionally, I do the grocery shopping for the household meals because I arrive home before him. I cook at home two or three times a week; On other days, I work in the evenings, and she eats out alone.
Additionally, during our international travels, she usually covers most of the expenses; I pay for the hotel costs, and she covers the remaining expenses.
I think the reason I stayed in the relationship was because I focused on his "good" qualities: never cheating on me, his life consisting only of work, sports, and home, and having a strong character. Or maybe it was because he listened to me—listening to my problems with friends or work and offering advice. He was someone whom others respected. Maybe these were the things that kept me in the relationship.
Even though I've gone to therapy many times, I still don't understand why I can't break up, why I can't walk away. Maybe someone who's gone through something similar could say something that might help me. Thank you.
submitted by /u/Last-Plankton-5796
[link] [comments]
Related links
I want to know the mind and emotions of a man towa. I want to understand what he is thinking and feeling at any given time. I want to know what makes him happy and what makes him sad. I want to know what he fears and what motivates him. I want to know his hopes and dreams. I want to know everything about him.
Addiction Is Messy, But These Things Help Me Stay Clean
5 Ways to Use Movement (Not Exercise) to Support Your Mental Health
My Second Mother: When Someone Steps Up Like Family Never Did
just sitting silently
How to Release the Fear That Holds You Back and Keeps You Small
What Happiness Means and How I’m Boosting My Day-to-Day Joy
why am i always in one-sided relationships
Psychological behaviour of husband with his wife who failed in love before marriage
What makes you dislike yourself?
When You’re Ready for Change: You Need to Believe in Your Future Self
4 Anxiety-Calming Techniques I Wish I Used When I Freaked Out on a Plane
What type of doctors experience the most stress?
Why is it significant to overcome stress?
How I Stopped Chasing Men Who Hurt Me and Found Healthy Love : #stressless
Stay Comfortable
I have irrational thoughts that she’s better than me
Skills That You Can Learn From (A2) Trying Harder Isn\\\'t Always The Answer:stressLess-life.
How do we know what we want in our lives?
5 Simple Yet Essential Self Care Tips That Can Change Your Life
#2 . How do I stop putting my worth based on how men see me? : stressLess-life
Self love challenge - looking for a group to join!
People-Pleasers Are Liars: 3 Things We Gain When We’re Honest Instead
How to Deal With Low Moods: A 4-Step Plan to Help You Feel Better
One words to define love story Hater
does depression affect sperm quality
What is the difference between stress and emotions? The WHO has defined them as two different life skills and I am not able to make a difference.
What are some signs that show a lack of confidence in a person's speech or behavior?
Is it good to live hubby without love or marry to BF?
growing up as the only black member of a white family movie
separation anxiety mother symptoms
why self-love and self-care is important
I am very sad every day. I have decided not to live. What should I do?
why am i losing interest in things i used to love
never waste your feelings on someone who doesn't value your emotions meaning in hindi
I am very sad every day. I have decided not to live. What should I do?
Why is it significant to overcome stress?
Can-I-reduce-my-stress?
https://stressless-2021.blogspot.com/2022/06/reduce-my-stress.html
Getting Out Of A Slump
Me Exercising/dancing to Unbelievable by EMF. Not too great, but started doing this at 57 yrs......truly my inner child is coming out to play!:stressLess-life
Abandonment Issues
Increasing and practicing self worth and self love:stressLess-life
(A2) LIFE AND LOVE???:stressLess-life
Neon Genesis Evangelion and validating ones own existence:stressLess-life
Calmed myself down with loving energy.:stressLess-life
"Why do you forgive everyone but yourself?”:stressLess-life
How to accept belly fat?:stressLess-life
admiring myself all 2022 ??:stressLess-life
Self love feels so lonely:stressLess-life
Increasing and practicing self worth and self love:stressLess-life
(A2) LIFE AND LOVE???:stressLess-life
Neon Genesis Evangelion and validating ones own existence:stressLess-life
Calmed myself down with loving energy.:stressLess-life
"Why do you forgive everyone but yourself?”:stressLess-life
How to accept belly fat?:stressLess-life
admiring myself all 2022 ??:stressLess-life
Self love feels so lonely:stressLess-life
😄
" Forget the past; look forward to the future, for the best things are yet to come. ..... "
I am 26 years old. I have a good job and I am considered physically attractive. I am a kind and sensitive person; unfortunately, I cannot be harsh with people. I am very emotional. My husband is 40 years old, but he looks like he's around 30 years old when seen from the outside, and he appears to be a very stern person. We've been married for two years. He is passionate about sports—training six days a week—and owns his own business. He is very wealthy, but extremely stingy and hates spending money.
We have been together for five years. Before we got married, I had countless doubts because I had seen so many negative signs. Despite his very good financial situation, I moved into his bachelor pad. Although I was hurt by this, I ignored it due to economic circumstances; I thought there was no need to spend money unnecessarily. Actually, what really wore me down wasn't financial issues, but emotional ones. For example, when I told him I couldn't find a wedding dress, he said to me, "that's your problem," and an hour later he regretted saying that. I still don't know what kept me in that relationship, but I still got married.
The first months of our marriage were a complete nightmare. He would get angry and shout at the slightest thing. One day, he yelled at me just because I woke up later than him and questioned what kind of woman I was. According to him, women should wake up before their husbands. Another time, before our honeymoon, I was going to use her credit card for the first time; I bought a lipstick while buying a towel, and she said to me, "Are you a thief? You should have asked me first." said." I've never used your card again since that day.
Thousands of similar incidents occurred. He would shout, I would cry, then he would regret it.
By the end of the first year, I became emotionally numb. I changed. I became someone who could say no and stand up for myself, but deep down I became emotionless and lost my emotional connection. Then the roles shifted somewhat. Unfortunately, I have also completely lost my sexual desire; I haven't been able to have a close relationship with him for about six months. This isn't working.
To be honest, he's calmer now and makes more of an effort to make me happy, but work and sports are always his priorities.
I am both a student and a working woman. Last night, I came home and prepared dinner. Since I was tired, I asked if she could clean the kitchen after returning from the gym. This led to a major argument. She said that the kitchen was my responsibility and that I had to clean up the mess I had made myself. Naturally, I experienced a major emotional collapse.
I think I know what I should do, but I can't. Sometimes I even look for flaws in myself. During the discussion, he told me, "I pay the bills, so you have to do it too." said. But the house we live in already belongs to him. Apart from that, he only pays the bills, and when we eat out, he usually pays the bill. I live on my own salary. I don't receive any extra financial support from him. Additionally, I do the grocery shopping for the household meals because I arrive home before him. I cook at home two or three times a week; On other days, I work in the evenings, and she eats out alone.
Additionally, during our international travels, she usually covers most of the expenses; I pay for the hotel costs, and she covers the remaining expenses.
I think the reason I stayed in the relationship was because I focused on his "good" qualities: never cheating on me, his life consisting only of work, sports, and home, and having a strong character. Or maybe it was because he listened to me—listening to my problems with friends or work and offering advice. He was someone whom others respected. Maybe these were the things that kept me in the relationship.
Even though I've gone to therapy many times, I still don't understand why I can't break up, why I can't walk away. Maybe someone who's gone through something similar could say something that might help me. Thank you.
Post a Comment