2. Hate him or hate myself? : stressLess-life
Hate him or hate myself?
My ex (24M) and I broke up around 2.5 weeks ago after being together for 2 years. It was mutual in the sense that we knew long distance between different countries realistically wouldn’t work. But even though the breakup made logical sense, emotionally I’m struggling a lot.
What hurt me the most was that within a week of the breakup, he went on a trip and kissed another girl. I know technically we were broken up, but it shattered me because I was still deeply grieving us while he seemed able to move on so quickly.
The hardest part is that we’re classmates, so I see him every single day. He seems completely okay — smiling, social, active, talking to different people, enjoying life. He’s even doing things he never really did when we were dating. Meanwhile I’m here trying to act normal while randomly getting hit with waves of grief.
Before dating, we were best friends for 3 years. Now he seems to expect us to just go back to being normal best friends immediately, and I genuinely don’t know how to do that. I still care about him deeply, and part of me still wants his attention and validation even though I know things will never feel the same again.
What confuses me is how differently we seem to be handling this. He acts like everything is fine, while I’m overthinking every interaction and replaying memories constantly. Seeing him so happy almost makes me feel “replaceable” or like I meant less than I thought I did.
I know healing isn’t linear, and maybe people cope differently, but I just want to know:
How do you heal when you have to see your ex every day?
How do you stop comparing your grief to theirs?
How do you stop needing validation from someone who used to love you?
And is it normal to feel hurt seeing them act okay so quickly?
I’m trying really hard to move forward, but some days it genuinely feels like I’m grieving alone.
Thankyouu for reading so much! I appreciate you all
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My ex (24M) and I broke up around 2.5 weeks ago after being together for 2 years. It was mutual in the sense that we knew long distance between different countries realistically wouldn’t work. But even though the breakup made logical sense, emotionally I’m struggling a lot.
What hurt me the most was that within a week of the breakup, he went on a trip and kissed another girl. I know technically we were broken up, but it shattered me because I was still deeply grieving us while he seemed able to move on so quickly.
The hardest part is that we’re classmates, so I see him every single day. He seems completely okay — smiling, social, active, talking to different people, enjoying life. He’s even doing things he never really did when we were dating. Meanwhile I’m here trying to act normal while randomly getting hit with waves of grief.
Before dating, we were best friends for 3 years. Now he seems to expect us to just go back to being normal best friends immediately, and I genuinely don’t know how to do that. I still care about him deeply, and part of me still wants his attention and validation even though I know things will never feel the same again.
What confuses me is how differently we seem to be handling this. He acts like everything is fine, while I’m overthinking every interaction and replaying memories constantly. Seeing him so happy almost makes me feel “replaceable” or like I meant less than I thought I did.
I know healing isn’t linear, and maybe people cope differently, but I just want to know:
How do you heal when you have to see your ex every day?
How do you stop comparing your grief to theirs?
How do you stop needing validation from someone who used to love you?
And is it normal to feel hurt seeing them act okay so quickly?
I’m trying really hard to move forward, but some days it genuinely feels like I’m grieving alone.
Thankyouu for reading so much! I appreciate you all
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