2. Embarrassing to admit but I know I need help to change : stressLess-life

Embarrassing to admit but I know I need help to change

I (21F) have extreme attachment issues ( anxious attachment ) . I also have AuDHD so I guess it’s sometimes limerence but I overthink every detail and interaction with a guy I like and as i’m getting older i’m starting to think no one will understand the way my brain works and is wired around these things.

Long story short I made a stupid mistake of getting involved with a guy “for fun”. We both agreed before we met up that it would be a one off no strings attached thing and after that we would go back to speaking as normal. This happened for a few days ( though I honestly felt like utter shit for the next 3-4 days ) and then randomly he flirted , I flirted back and it just went back and forth. We’ve both reiterated that we “shouldn’t be doing this” or that we agreed for it not to happen and i’m pretty certain it won’t progress but my self respect is so low that i’d rather have that connection with him than nothing and I told myself it’s “boring” if there’s nothing because it’s “entertainment” and as much as it is I know I’ll get attached. Worth noting we didn’t actually have sex.

I know the rational thing is to stop it at just “friends” and I say this lightly because I don’t even know if he classes me as a friend - but whenever the conversation switches to normal talk I start overthinking and feel so down ( probably due to the fact he’s a lot slower at responding then too ). I don’t want to ruin whatever it is we have by admitting i’m attached and not can I bring myself to leave … in so tired of this never ending cycle and I know I need to work on it but I don’t even know how to…

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