2. Struggling after partner's comments : stressLess-life

Struggling after partner's comments

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How do I stop hating my body while being in a relationship with someone who's hurt my feelings before, talking about my looks ?

I've been dating this man for a year and a half now (on and off), his ex was everything to him, and still is for a lot of things, and she was very skinny, attractive, probably model pretty, I don't really remember. Anyways he told me he will never find another woman as pretty as her.

On my side I had a huge body transformation a few years back, losing 66lbs, and recently got implants bc my breasts were empty. But some things won't just vanish, like stretch marks, and I'm nowhere near model skinny although I'm rather lean now. I am generally considered an attractive woman and receive a lot of attention since I changed that much. According to my partner it's mostly bc I'm a woman though, maybe.

So, the part where I'm struggling is I think I should feel so proud of what I've accomplished, boy was it hard, with PCOS and other health issues, to obtain this physique.

But my man says he's lowered his standards to be with me, that he always thought, after his ex, if he had to date another woman she'd have to be as pretty as her or "at least prettier than his sisters". That I'm objectively less good looking than the ex (maybe, I don't care, she was a cheater anyways). And from the start, I was not really his style you know. Not skinny enough, not tall enough.

I worked a lot, changed my looks, hair color, had surgery, and maybe his view changed overtime and now he does tell me that he finds me attractive (although some of these comments are really recent) but time passes and I just can't believe him. I know I'm not good looking enough for him, and it's eating me from the inside. Lately it has greatly affected my self esteem and mental health, I somehow feel like my heart is slowly rotting and it is an awful feeling.

Before you comment on the relationship I do not wish to breakup, we have our happy moments too. I just need to know how to get over the mean words, how to give more importance to his compliments and not feel like a traumatized bitch every time

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