Trying to break serial monogamous dating
falseI’ve recently recognized that I have jumped from one relationship to the next, ever since I started dating when I was young.
One relationship would end, and I would find myself looking for the next partner shortly after. Spending at max maybe only a month or two without any kind of male attention/validation etc.
Even in the past during my “single” phases I would still entertain casual relationships and or accept/seek attention.
I am now 27, and got out of my longest and healthiest relationship in July. It was the first truly meaningful and secure relationship I had experienced. I knew I wanted to be single (like properly - no nothing!!) for awhile after this break up (I was very heartbroken) so I can properly heal, reflect, learn and move forward to hopefully find another secure relationship in the future.
I fell back on my old ways and started seeing a guy casually. I ended it the other day because I realized I was displaying my old pattern that I wanted to break - even though I did and still do like him. I knew I couldn’t build another meaningful relationship until I broke this pattern.
Has anyone else experienced this? Did you do a male detox once you recognized this pattern? Did it lead to better and healthier relationships?
I know this is the work I need to do. It’s hard because I do like myself, my life, my hobbies, my friends, work, I have passions, etc. I do know myself pretty well, but I haven’t sat with my singleness for a long period of time in the past so maybe I’ll discover more idk.
I know this may be irritation but I fear I’ll never meet someone again - but maybe that’s the point, to be comfortable with the possibility of that reality.
Anyhow - just looking for some reassurance that I am making the right decision and that I this sadness is going to benefit me one day in the future.
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