2. Is the friendship over when you cannot trust them? Is it just me or do you also struggle to stay friend with people not reciprocating? : stressLess-life

Is the friendship over when you cannot trust them? Is it just me or do you also struggle to stay friend with people not reciprocating?

false

Basically I dont have much friends anymore because I chose to value only the people I feel safe around. Currently it's just one person because the two others arent as close as we used to and I dont feel like they value me anymore.

I explained this feeling to these two friends. One of them told me they understand because they have been neglecting our friendship these past few years. We dont see each other anymore and they hate using the phone so yeah. Zero contact.

The other one told me they feel very hurt that I think they might neglect me. That they are busy they have this and that going on in their life and they expected me to be understanding (which I am...). I know they havent dont therapy so they arent necessarily working on their communication/attachment wounds. I understand that. But I felt they were dishonest because they claimed they were not doing X and Y, stuff I have said that hurt me/our friendship.

It felt like they said "you are the problem not me". I chose to express myself because I did not want to end up losing another friendship. I wanted us to talk about it. Not distance myself because it would hurt them and not help with anything.

Now I wonder if it's me? Do you also feel unable to stay in friendship when you dont feel valued and respected. Despite said friend saying they care a lot about me that Im important to them. I really felt like they were not seeing the real issue and just focused on defending themselves. I do trust they were being sincere tho.

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