2. I realized I deserved better. : stressLess-life

I realized I deserved better.

false

I kept interacting with people who were emotionally unavailable and I would jump through hoops to get feedback from them.

Recently, I discovered that I am attracted to people who challenge my nervous system and that’s a big red flag. I am attracted to people who I know wouldn’t answer me, or show up for me, because that is the love I grew up on. At first, they would always be extremely affectionate, supportive, etc. I was showered with gifts and promises that never landed.

I had to build myself up completely and I surrounded myself with calmer energies. I’ve realized that you need to embrace the boringness that comes with life. Don’t go after that person that tells you “You need to reach out first.” Why? It’s not because they’re not worth it, it’s because you’re not lesser than them.

The last person I had an emotional connection with had a conversation with me a few weeks back. When I brought up our situation, she told me she gave me the bare minimum on purpose, and that I never was seen as more then a friend- despite us spending moments together and sharing memories that clearly resonated more.

I’m tired of fighting for people. And when I moved on, I received a message from an unknown number that read “I hate that you have moved on, but I hurt you so I know there is nothing I can do.” And that’s absolutely correct. The old me would of answered back “I forgive you!” But I am done. The new version of me completely took over, and she protected who I used to be.

Me doing better doesn’t validate the hatred another person feels from their inability to understand their wrongdoings. I deserve to do better and when people have hurt me, I will always choose the high road, but I have confused forgiveness with acceptance. The act of forgiveness should be removing yourself from the loop and not allowing it to happen again.

You know that you hurt me. You chose to hurt me, you wanted to hurt me. And I hope that sits with you, because I am not opening my door to you again. It’s finally closed and I have realized that after all this time- all those days, weeks I spent crying myself to sleep. You have spoke nothing of me and allowed this resentment to sit inside of you. That is not my problem. I have given you over a year to come to me as an adult, and perhaps you needed to grow as a person before you can do so, but that is not my responsibility to cater to.

People who attempt to make you feel lesser then because of their own insecurities don’t deserve your time. Protect it and even if they view it as selfish, DO NOT drop those boundaries people!!! They are what make you whole. The people who are supposed to love you will show it. They won’t tell you “You weren’t anything, there is nothing to gain from you.” Because I promise, you bring something to the table every time you walk into a room.

Never let another person take your light. Always be kind to everyone, but I needed to share this because it has kicked me into overdrive when it has come to my independence. Before I met that person, I was secure. I healed for months and they met me, but they decided they wanted to play games and I let myself wait for them, because I genuinely did care for them and all they cared about was making sure I was 5 steps behind them.

Always choose yourself. You are the one that deserves to live a beautiful life. The way that people choose to act, or show up is completely up to them.

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