2. Remember That Time You [deleted] Your Needs...Was It Worth It? : stressLess-life
Remember That Time You [deleted] Your Needs...Was It Worth It?
falseI made a post several months ago titled, "Need A Supportive Person in My Life".
The basis of it was, "To have someone who wants to share the load of life with me...That would be uplifting."
They were very forward in their first message, and I laughed because I appreciated it and was joking or playing with the idea of it by calling it out, offering to have a call. What they wanted was quite transparent without them actually asking for it. I replied, but never heard back from them.
Several months later, I thanked them for sharing their thoughts several months prior within the past week, and it seemed they wanted to converse, but something happened...They deleted their freaking account, and thought it was a brilliant idea to do so after stating their needs! And they were much clearer about them than their first message, openly!
Me just being busy, I had to take a day to reply! They must have felt pretty vulnerable because they mentioned their past, that they wanted a mental connection, and that they did a lot of caretaking then and wanted to be caretaken and brought into their feminine energy now, as being a career driven woman wasn't serving that means. And, "We never know what people are really looking for until we ask...I ultimately want something serious," she said.
You know, if you were a guy like me, you'd love that shit man! You'd be so thankful that they say these things up front. You'd eat it up! They want to save you time. They want to love themselves and to love you. They're authentic. Vulnerable. Open. Able to communicate their needs. Their setbacks. How you can help them. It's perfect! As far as the conversation's going, that's how you communicate to connect...But you delete your account because of how perhaps, direct you are, and not getting a response?
Sigh. Anyways, I want you to know that you matter, and your needs matter, and being able to articulate yourself and ask for what you need, to ask for help, and to want what you want is OK. Stating your past behavioral patterns and your current ones is OK. Wanting something different is OK. How else do you expect to change? We're social beings. We're meant to live in a tribe. We need people!
People have things going on under the hood. I know this. But you lose all the shots you don't take. You know this. If you don't fully see it through, and that means waiting for the response (in an online setting), you will never know. You might just need to follow up. But heck, if people have any decency, such as what this planet needs, the humane experience, they'd probably tell you what needs to be said and support you from where they're at and where you're coming from how they can, because that's what humans do.
To live is to trouble others. To help people. This woman said nothing in my mind that was startling, or even troublesome. They just communicated to connect. It was totally OK. She even sent me this photo before that in acknowledgement of me. So for anyone out there, let me acknowledge you. We love you for being you. Continue to express it. OK? I'm pulling for you!
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