2. Going through a divorce and struggling with self love. Advice welcome : stressLess-life

Going through a divorce and struggling with self love. Advice welcome

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Hi all,

I (32F) am going through a divorce. I love my husband very, very much and deeply. He was my best friend in the world. Unfortunately, he is an alcoholic and he was abusive towards me, so I had to leave. He also denied me intimacy for over 4 years. But most importantly, he refused to work on it. He didn't want therapy, didn't want to see a doctor, didn't want any help until it was too late. He stopped working and stopped contributing financially. I've warned him many times, if nothing changes, it would have to end. And it did. I'm completely heartbroken. Not only because I miss him so much, which I do, but mostly because I miss being a wife. I miss the role I had and being in a partnership, even when it wasn't great.

Now everyone talks about self love and focusing on yourself to heal. I completely get it, but it's almost like it's not cool to admit you want romance. I want a relationship. I want to be with someone. I want to be loved and adored and to love and adore back. I know that I can give that to myself to an extend, but I just miss it so much. I just know that if I started talking to someone now/dating, I'd be too tired to do it and lose interest quickly, because what I crave is the deep intimacy. I don't want a talking stage. I don't want to just hookup. I want an old school romance, to be a wife, to be in a devoted and loving relationship. But when I say this, my friends and even strangers tell me I should focus and work on myself. I'm so torn. I'm probably just not thinking straight, but it's frustrating and I just needed to vent. Please, if you have an idea what's going on with me, let me know. ❤️

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