10 hard truths about self-love and acceptance no one told you.
falseI am a huge fan of this sub and a frequent contributor. And my style is to call you out, call myself out and tell everyone the truth, with as much kindness and compassion as I can. :) So here are 10 truths about self-love and acceptance no one told you when you probably needed to hear them the most:
- If they wanted to, they would, because when I wanted to, I did. End of story. Whoever you’re thinking about right now – friends, family, loved ones, anyone you’re excusing at the moment….please stop. I used to think they were going through things and that’s why they acted the way they did…until I remembered I was also going through so much, and I’d never treat anyone else the same way. Self-love is holding them to the same high standard you’re holding yourself to. No excuses, no justifications. You deserve better. Especially if it’s your own flesh & blood.
- Rewrite the story that’s keeping you stuck right now. Stop giving yourself life sentences – ‘I can’t do it’, ‘I’m never good enough’, ‘They always do X Y Z to me’. Reframe your own thinking – ‘I am worthy’, ‘I am good enough’. Internalize it. You are worth it, whether anyone acknowledges it or not, whether you’ve achieved something today or not, you simply are. Never forget it.
- Cherish every moment, because you never know when it’ll become a memory. Take messy pictures while you still can. Stop thinking you don’t look perfect. Someday you’ll wish you’d have immortalized more precious moments. If not pictures, then journal. Write about meaningful people, places, situations, experiences. Let them live forever, embedded in the ink & paper.
- Sometimes what you’re most afraid of is only in your head. The outcome you’re dreading so much is just a projection of your worst fears come to life. Take a chance. Take the risk. Whatever you have in mind right now, do it. Don’t wake up years later with the painful regret of not having tried. Time doesn’t wait for anyone.
- People’s actions are a reflection of themselves. Your actions are a reflection of you. So if someone said something hurtful, sabotaged you, judged you, cheated on you, did you wrong in any way, remember that it’s not a reflection of your self-worth. It’s a reflection of their character. You did nothing to bring it upon yourself. So don’t carry the weight of it like it’s yours. It’s not.
- People can only meet you at their level, and you can only meet them at yours. In other words, you can’t demand honesty from those who lie to themselves. You can’t demand reciprocation from those who are selfish. Know where you stand with everyone, and put them in their rightful categories. Never cross oceans for people who wouldn’t jump over a puddle for you. There’s no glory in martyrdom.
- Yes, you can do it alone. But you shouldn’t have to. If you ever need help, a listening ear, a word of encouragement, please reach out to someone. Never suffer in silence. Even if it’s Reddit or an internet stranger, if you need help, don’t isolate. No matter what it’s about.
- Own your choices. Good or bad, don’t deflect responsibility, don’t try to repaint reality in a light that makes you look different. Self-love is the ability to be accountable to ourselves, it’s awareness, truth and a desire to improve. To do that, we must be willing to look into a mirror first and not break it if we don’t like what it’s showing us.
- Forgive yourself for what you didn’t know at the time, and step into the present with newfound wisdom. Forgive others, too, for when they acted in ways that didn’t honor them. Allow everyone space to make mistakes, grow and evolve. No one is perfect, and that’s okay.
- Don’t force anything – if it’s meant to be, it’ll be, if not, it won’t. No amount of fighting, arguing, chasing, groveling will ever change that. There’s strength in releasing the need for control. Because sometimes holding on too tightly does more damage than letting go.
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