2. I cringe at the way I made excuses for people : stressLess-life

I cringe at the way I made excuses for people

false

There’s a side to emotional intelligence where you can understand why someone is the way they are and have compassion for them, give them grace etc. but sometimes the other person doesn’t even realize what’s going on with them they’re just operating off of subconscious patterns they’ve been stuck in their entire lives, and other times ppl may know exactly what they’re doing. I think in the past I was avoiding my own grief and the reality that many people did not care about my livelihood by intellectualizing and placing a label or reason for their behavior…oh they’re avoidant, oh they have abandonment wounds, daddy issues etc. instead of realizing yes, that’s what is happening maybe at the root .. BUT at the tip of the ice berg these people are currently showing me they do not give a crap about how their behavior affects me or they don’t care to make change for our relationship or don’t care about me enough/at all. That was the behavior I needed to take at face value and I cringe at the way I conjured up excuses just so that my brain can feel safe and avoid the grief that would come with the reality of realizing I love people that don’t care to keep me safe or consider me in some way ..I am glad that I unpacked this and faced this , I can still have compassion and boundaries while accepting it for what it is and going my own way

I understand why I did it and why I no longer need to do it and I’m sending my past self so much love

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