2. why do i push away people who care for me and only enjoy the company of people who don’t? : stressLess-life

why do i push away people who care for me and only enjoy the company of people who don’t?

false

only recently have i noticed this pattern. i subconsciously surround myself with people do not care for me - people who only spend time with me for their benefit and do not value my thoughts of feelings. its guys especially like this that i fall for - i feel so drawn to guys who just.. don’t seem to care that much? not that they’re horrible people or anything, just that they seem to not be hugely invested in my wellbeing and emotions.

on the other hand, i get incredibly irritated and turned off by guys who do. there’s this one guy i’ve started talking with recently and i think he cares for me. like he’ll regularly ask what i wanna do, what i wanna talk about, how im feeling etc. we were hanging out yesterday and i was being pretty quiet and he brought it up a few times “like hey ur being quiet r u okay?” and it actually angered me. like the fact that he cared about how i was feeling and wanted me to discuss that irritated me. why though??? in general, he seems like a caring guy, but anytime he shows that he cares for my wellbeing i genuinely get repulsed or annoyed. it’s like an ick. there’s a part of me that convinces myself that “it’s fake, he’s just saying that to make u like him, he’s just saying what he thinks u want to hear, he just wants to sleep with u bla bla” and allat which angers me in another way, but i feel like deep down saying that just gives me an excuse to be mad at him for caring. looking back at it, this is also not the first time i have been turned off by a guy showing that he cares about me. it’s not even a matter of ‘i don’t like it’, like it genuinely repulses and annoys me and i hate it. how do i stop this pattern? i don’t want to self sabotage another possible relationship with a guy who seems to genuinely care for me

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