2. How to feel good about myself : stressLess-life

How to feel good about myself

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I (34f) have struggled with low self-esteem my whole life and it's caused me anxiety in my romantic relationships throughout my adult life. Even when my partner doesn't do anything to cause me to feel down on myself or anything, I still have this inner turmoil that I can't get rid of and I'm hoping somebody on here can help me. I know it's completely normal and human nature for people to find other people of the opposite gender attractive even when in a relationship with someone. I've had boyfriends tell me "I can look, but I don't touch", which I know they don't mean anything by that, but it does trigger something inside of me, but I'm not exactly sure what the trigger is or how to heal from it. My anxiety is so bad that even knowing that my boyfriend has a female co-worker my mind always assumes the worse without knowing anything about her, like how old she is, what she looks like, etc. he's also pretty introverted and doesn't go out of his way to talk to other girls that much. I trust my boyfriend 100% so I'm not afraid of him running off with anyone else or anything like that, I just get afraid that he will find them more attractive than me. I have been told that I am very attractive and I feel like I am too, but I still can't get past this mental block that is preventing me from enjoying myself and letting it go. I try to remind myself that he does not compare me to other girls, it is just human nature to find other girls pretty, just like I find other guys attractive but that doesn't always help. He has also told me that even if/when he finds other girls attractive, it doesn't mean anything because we have a deep bond and connection in our relationship that he doesn't have with anyone else. I've been in therapy for like 15 years, which has helped a lot, but not enough and on anxiety meds but I'm so tired of never being able to be confident and secure in myself when I know there is no rational reason to feel this way and I'm just so frustrated and I know it can cause frustration in my boyfriend as well. I also journal a lot too which is an outlet for me, I just don't know what else to do. Help.

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