2. A love letter to myself : stressLess-life

A love letter to myself

false

I love you.

It's okay that you are feeling vulnerable. I understand. You've been hurt deeply. Please remember, though, that death comes because of life. Death happens to all life. Because we live, we die.

Great loss is because of great love. It's SOOO hard, I know. But know also, that I'm so proud of you. I'm so incredibly proud.

It blows my mind that you kept your heart open after losing Tim. It blows me away that you allowed yourself to love someone else who would die. There are days that I simply cannot wrap my head around your bravery.

You are so brave. I want to be like you, but I know the hurt you have survived and I am afraid.

Love. It's the reason we live. We live to love, to learn to love, to practice love, to be loved, to love ourselves and to love others. I'm so incredibly proud of you and how you have learned to actively love yourself. You were given a gift and you used it well and you used it wisely. I'm so proud of you.

I know, that my life path, requires that I keep my heart open, on all levels, to love. How can I do this? I am afraid. Their deaths... It just hurt SOOO much. You survived one and willingly entered in to another. How were you that brave? You inspire me, but I am afraid. I don't want to feel the pain of partner death again, ever.

I love you. Will you help me? Will you help me be vulnerable and open to love? I'm frightened. I am legitimately terrified. I know my heart must be open, but that makes me so vulnerable and so terrified of experiencing the pain of loss again.

My cards have told me there is a third heart break in my life journey. I truly hope that I did not correctly interpret that reading. But, I believe I did. How can I put myself through that again?

I have plans and goals for my life. They don't involve a partner. There is not room for a partner. Is there? I feel like the process of meeting my own goals, disallows space for a partner, because their goals would be different than mine and I absolutely do not want to disregard my own goals. Is this a valid reason to close my heart to love?

My cards, my guides, my intuition say I must keep my heart open. I have been promised love and joy and peace, if I do. But I have not been promised fulfillment of my goals. Are my goals, perhaps, a subset of love and joy and peace? I'd like to believe that. But I know my tendency to put others before me... And because of that, I am afraid I will disregard my own goals...

But, I have learned to love myself, far better and far deeper than ever before. I have learned that it is more important that I love me than it is that I love someone else. My primary love partner should be myself. I don't want to lose that. Will you help me? Will you stand beside me as I try to open my heart? Will you help stay stay strong as I try to learn how to love myself more than I love a partner?

Is that valid? I know deep in my soul that loving myself and being loyal and true to myself is truly the most important love in the world. But it feels wrong when I put words to it. Loving myself and being true to who I am and prioritizing my own goals is more important than my love for someone else. Is that true? I feel like it should be. But I have never loved a partner in a way that left adequate room for myself and my own goals. Is this what I am meant to learn?

How can two people be together and together, collectively, keep space for and be sure to meet both their sets of individual goals? I don't want to put myself as second. I want to be my own first. But does that put my partner as second? It just feels so foreign to slap a number two on a potential partner, because I've been taught to put others before myself. This is wrong. I feel it's wrong.

I have value. I AM value. I am important. My hopes and dreams and goals are important. Will you help me understand in a clear and distinct manner how to retain myself while keeping a heart open to love? I cannot conscionably lose me, when entering into a new relationship. I have worked hard to learn to love myself truly and deeply. This is not something I can navigate alone.

You are so strong and so wise. I have watched you grow and develop and strengthen so much. You have spirits, and guides, and your dead people beside you. I have watched you look to them and listen for their guidance. I have seen you trust in your intuition and take action. I've been so proud of you. I believe in you and in your abilities. Maybe if we stand together we can navigate these turbulent waters. If we stay aware and stay cognizant of our situations and if we, together, look to our guides and listen, before we take action, then maybe we can be okay.

I love you. I trust you. I admire you. The way you persevere and keep fighting for yourself inspires me. I'm so grateful that you exist.

Together we can do this. Together we can open our heart to love. Together we can seek guidance and find answers. Together we can trust ourself and our abilities. Thank you for always standing by my side.

I love you.

Thank you.

submitted by /u/Lazysloth166
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