2. Struggling with self image, 6 months post breakup : stressLess-life

Struggling with self image, 6 months post breakup

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Hello everyone I hope you are doing well,

Im posting because Im in a dark place right now.

I put an end to a 7 years situationship, platonic but still extremely strong bond since he was my best friend.

Before starter Id like to add that I have a lot on my plate regarding my family,and I dont have many friends (not very close with them).

So about us. We both dealt with personal issues (family, death, sickness...) & were still there for each other & made our bond stronger.

I had to end it because he couldnt commit & many other things. It couldnt work.

Now at the time I choose to end it, I was feeling confident & I knew it was the best choice (I still think so no doubts), I was actually full of hopes for a better future.

Now during these past few months I started to feel really depressed, I actually have symptoms of depression & I am unable to work or do anything that I planned to because of my mental health struggles.

This crisis is, I believe, because I lost the 1 person I felt at home with. It's been so long that I forgot who I was before falling in love with him.

I was me when we were together but now despite practicing self love & care I feel lost. I dont have motivation for anything, I dont even know what my hobbies are. Everything seems difficult.

Living for myself is difficult.

Spending time with him everyday, doing things for him, thinking about him, talking for hours together exchznging our pov about stuff. All of this made me happy. I actually fought my best for years in order for us to be able to be together. He was avoidant so.. Was complicated.

Now my vision of us is lost, and I lost myself in the process.

I now doubt my value. I feel like an empty shell.

Funny because I used to hate my physical apprearence (little overweight) but would be proud to still have a good personnality & had many interests.

Now (after I lost weight some years ago), I feel like the only good part about me is my body & nothing else is worth anything. Im not that girl I used to be. Lost my spark.

Does it get better?

Am in therapy (bc of family & health issues) but I feel like I mask my own desperation. Im too used to talk to everyone as if everything was okay, I do as if I was the same old me. When in fact I cry everyday, any time in the day, have dark thoughts & feelblike à complete loser & pos. I am however being gentle with me, acknowledging my own fragile emtional state & take care of myself as much as I can. But it's weighing on me.

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