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2. Has anyone experinced this with their core sense of self? : stressLess-life

Has anyone experinced this with their core sense of self?

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Hello all. So I want to know if anyone has had this experience. I feel pretty confident in who I am interms of my core values as I have explored them thoroughly. I love who I am and I love my core. Although they may be subject to change as I gain more experience or at the very least be rearranged, I feel quite confident in them right now.

I feel rejuvenated and so connected with myself in a way when I think about what I stand for, what I believe in and what I value. It is one of the things I love most about myself and when I think about it, I feel such an overwhelming sense of calm and peaceful happiness. I cant help but smile, it feels so good and relaxing, I feel connected and whole.

However, there is a small caveat and I wonder what this is or if others have experienced this.

Sometimes at night or randomly in the day, I experience a bit of cynicism. Not in the sense of 'everyone sucks' but more in the way of, 'eh. Do you Reaaaally believe that? Is that reaaaally your core? Are you suuuuure you are ok with it?' And I think about it for a bit. When this happens, I feel a bit sad and feel like Im loosing myself. It doesnt feel right to me to drop that sense of self eventhough the logical self-sufficient side of my brain challenges it.

Why does this happen? I try to listen to it and see if there is validity there, but I feel so empty when I am trying to rationalize in my mind a life without these core values of mine. Not in a way that I feel depressed but more so, empty. When I think about it, I think "I guess technically I dont need such high devotion" but when I do that, it feels....wrong? It's like an unsatisfying way for me to live and one Im not happy to be ok with. I really feel uncomfortable. But on the same token, I feel like my mind is trying to tell me something. Perhaps its not a situation of my core values is wrong but something I need to sit with and think. How do I go about learning from this side of my mind?

I hope you guys understand what I am saying. Does this sort of cynicism and devil's advocate have validity and if so, how do I dig deeper and see where it comes from? If not, how do I silence this voice? Thank you all.

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