2. Am I too needy or he is just not invested? : stressLess-life
Am I too needy or he is just not invested?
falseHi! This is my first time posting and seeking for advice in this community so please bear with me.
I (24F) and my partner (29M) have been in a long-distance relationship with a 12-13 time difference for about a year now. These past few months, I feel left out every time my partner has so much going on.
I am aware that I have an anxious attachment style. It pretty much came from my childhood plus I got cheated on from my past relationship. I believe it also heightened now that I feel isolated working a graveyard shift from home. To alleviate the "isolation", I engage myself in several activities; working out 4 times a week, playing PC/Mobile games daily, hanging out with friends/family 2-3 times a week.
Meanwhile, my partner is currently unemployed. His time is usually spent on personal errands, hobbies, family/friends, and me. His activities entails; working out 5 times a week with his gym buddy for about 2-3 hours, playing PC games daily for about 2 hours, spending time with different friends/family daily for several hours, fishing 2-3 times a week (sometimes consecutively) for 6 hours to a day.
In my perspective, the only time we get to spend time together is when we get on FaceTime when I wake up and before he sleeps for 10 mins to an hour. During the weekends, we also watch an episode of anime/series for 20 mins to an hour. (All of the things mentioned mostly depends on his availability unless I become adamant about doing something together).
While we're out doing our own things, we have little to no conversations in between through text/call unless I initiate to check up on him to see how he's doing. Yes, it can go for several hours to a day not receiving a single text/call from him when he's immersed with his hobbies.
Now that he is planning to go back to school to pursue his passion in the medical field, I'm quite concerned how the relationship dynamic would be considering how it can be so radio silent on his end but he can be active on Instagram or his snapscore could go up even when he's out and about.
I'm having the dilemma whether I'm just too needy out of my attachment style, unhealed trauma?, etc. or he's just not as invested in our relationship.
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