2. I found out what my problem is : stressLess-life

I found out what my problem is

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Hello all, I’ve always been a thinker. Always trying to keep everyone’s feelings in check, except my own.

I used to hide my feelings but a short time ago I actually told my colleague that I was sad and I walked out the door. When I got back I told her what is wrong.

Slowly over time I have learned a lot. I kept puzzling what my problems were and how to solve them.

I learned to be very social. There is one guy in particular who I always had ‘a bad feeling about’. He is handsome, he is social, has a social job. But my words just never came out. At the start it was because I was unsocial. Later it was because I found out how I might have been coming across. It was always awkward between us and I keep chasing after him.

I learned 2 things. My perfectionism. And how to solve it. When you think about it, perfectionism is a black-and-white thinking pattern. I must be perfect or I’m not good enough. How about we put a gray lens over that. Do I really need to be perfect to be good enough? There is only one answer. No, ofcourse not.

Boom. Perfectionism gone.

Even after that, I was still nervous around him. ‘So it wasn’t all perfectionism with him’ is what I thought. And then I made another breakthrough. I found out that I was searching for validation from him. Thinking about it, I actually sought validation in everyone. It’s just that most people do validate you anyway so you don’t think about it or do something with it.

The better way is to get the validation out of yourself. Now this is where I’m at. How to get the validation out of myself. Anyone got ideas? I will probably find the answer eventually, but hey anyone with ideas help.

Its so strange how life can change. One day you’re a 30 year old gamer depressed and lack of sleep. Then you’re a social butterfly and gym go-er that’s always thinking about how to improve his life. The latter still has ups and downs, but its a hell of a lot better than the first. I do still game though, just not as often as I used to (all day lol).

Anyway, maybe this post helps someone else too! Have a nice day!

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