2. Anyone else feel more whole, the more people they let go from their life? : stressLess-life
Anyone else feel more whole, the more people they let go from their life?
falseI grew up as the Scapegoat in my family and after decades of suffering trying to fit in with my family, I started distancing myself from the majority of them.
It's been a year since I had to go no contact with my younger sibling that I took care of for years, who I fought so hard to earn their trust and approval, only to find out what I was really in store for when I got to that point.
We have had issues like this in our relationship before but since I started to doing the work, I've come realize a lot of how I was being treated, was not ok and the expectations that were placed on me were not reasonable or reciprocated.
I was discarded, but this time I just let it happen. I didn't really fight. I witnessed a Domestic Violence situation between this sibling and their family and apparently, I handled it incorrectly and should have took the side of the abuser because 'We are family'.
Any response I had was invalidated, dismissed or twisted. In the end, the Spouse (who was being abused) took the side of my sibling and was very comfortable with the responsility being put on me.
My sibling was rewarded and I was discarded (but still expected to keep up appearances for the children)
I refused. After years and years of trying to have some sort of a relationship with the sibling I took in and sacrificed so much of my life to care for, I was discarded because I chose my own morals and ethics over familial obligation and enabling/supporting an abuser.
It's been a little over a year, and while I still think of what could have been or what could be, I have found myself to be more at peace with life. I don't feel like I have to walk on eggshells, defend or explain my actions, I don't have to wonder when the next issue is going to come about.
Anyone else have a similar experience? Having to let go of or distance yourself from a loved one in order to put more time and energy loving yourself?
Is it OK to just let them go and move on?
Do you feel guilt for not being there for them or for not being strong enough to endure the relationship or smart enough to handle things properly?
Do you wonder how you will handle things if they passed?
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