2. Sometimes it feels like I’m going backwards : stressLess-life

Sometimes it feels like I’m going backwards

false

I’m not going to lie, I messed up my perfectly healthy relationship due to insecurities, and not messed up where I can get that back but messed up where I won’t get that back and sometimes I think I fine, but I’m really not, during the relationship, feeling insecure about the future of our relationship, not that she was cheating on me but one day look at my faults and be like, I can’t be with you anymore. I veiwed myself as a failure at life, comparing myself to other guys she has met, and see how successful/better looking the guys she with, it may have been long distance but shit she done so much in my life, stop smoking, started a buiness, started putting things in the right track. The process of it being slow, seemed to be breaking me, the more I hear about the guys showing her attention was breaking me down. I flirted with other girls to make me feel wanted, to understand why she was in a relationship with someone who don’t seem to have there shit together, I have ask multiple times. Nothing of her words seemed to resonate with me, calling me attractive when you surround your self with attractive guys, calling me smart when I haven’t finished my college degree. I mean what more can I feel when the words you say compare to the guys she surround her self with, is like day and night. Fucking up this relationship tore a good chunk of me, and I tried to be brave about letting her go. But I miss her so much

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