5 Lessons About Change I Learned from Moving to a New City:stressless3
5 Lessons About Change I Learned from Moving to a New City
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“You may not be able to control every situation and its outcome, but you can control how you deal with it.” ~Unknown
I recently moved to Florida, a decision thirty years in the making.
Growing up in Haiti, I always longed to return to a warm climate. I remember being on our layover in Miami when we first moved to the States and thinking, “Why don’t we just stay here?” Moving to Boston at ten, the cold rain was a shock, and I’ve been dreaming of Florida ever since.
Here’s the thing about dreams—they take time, and life sometimes gets in the way. I stayed in Boston for college, built a career, and raised my daughter, and every time I thought about making the move south, something else needed my attention.
When my daughter graduated from high school, I felt the time was right. So I handed in my resignation, let our landlord know that we would be moving out, and started planning our move to Florida.
You might be wondering, “Did you really move just for the sunshine and palm trees?” Well, yes and no. Those are wonderful (especially after decades of Boston winters!), but the truth is, it goes much deeper. It’s about finding a sense of belonging and reclaiming a piece of myself that I felt I lost along the way, reconnecting with the warmth that reminds me of my childhood in Haiti.
Leaving Boston wasn’t easy. The friends, the routines, the community—I had built a life there. It was a terrifying decision. There were nights I lay awake wrestling with doubt, but deep down, I felt it was right.
Reflecting on the move, here are five lessons it taught me, which I hope you can relate to.
Lesson 1: Embrace the unknown.
The fear of the unknown is usually one of the most daunting parts of any major life transition. And for me, moving to Florida was no different. I had to leave behind everything familiar to enter a world of uncertainty.
I spent thirty years building a comfortable life in Boston. But comfort can be a double-edged sword—it can keep you from exploring and from finding new parts of yourself.
During one of my first morning walks in Florida, I noticed how different everything felt—the air was warmer, the pace rather slow, and the faces were all unfamiliar. It hit me then: I was truly starting over.
But it also reminded me of when I first moved to Boston from Haiti as a child and how different everything felt back then. Just as I adapted then, I knew I could do it again.
Yes, the unknown can be scary, but growth happens when you embrace it—when you open yourself up to new experiences, people, and places.
You have to be willing to explore, to try new things, to make mistakes and learn from them.
Lesson 2: Plans don’t always work out.
I’m a big-time planner. I love having everything mapped out, knowing exactly what’s going to happen and when. So, before our move, we knew where we were going to live, what college our daughter would attend, and how we would adjust to the new city.
But life had other plans.
We faced unexpected challenges—delays, changes in schedules, and problems we didn’t see coming.
For example, right before our move, the moving company that had agreed to transport our belongings, cancelled at the last minute. I remember standing in the middle of our packed-up living room, filled with hundreds of packed boxes, and feeling utterly overwhelmed. How could something so important go so wrong at the last minute?
In the end, we scrambled to find an alternative. When we finally did, the new company was delayed by several days, leaving us in limbo with everything packed but nowhere to go.
So here is the thing—no matter how perfectly you plan, life has a way of throwing you curveballs. I had to accept that plans don’t always work out and that being adaptable is what really gets you through when things don’t go as expected.
Lesson 3: People handle change differently.
One thing I have learned about change is that everyone experiences it differently. We each have our own perspectives and our own ways of processing and reacting to what’s happening around us.
My daughter was a bundle of nerves and excitement, stepping tentatively into adulthood, balancing her part-time job with college orientations and a whole new social scene. My husband, usually the rock, struggled to adapt to our new surroundings and missed his after-work routines and his usual grocery store.
As for me, I was managing the logistics and emotional toll of the move, trying to keep everything on track—all while running a business still in its foundational stages.
What worked for us? Regularly checking in with each other.
It was powerful to ask—and really listen—about each other’s well-being and how each of us was dealing with this move. Taking the time to understand and connect with each other made all the difference.
Lesson 4: Find your anchors.
Amidst all the uncertainty and chaos that comes with a big life transition, finding things that ground you (I call these anchors) becomes your lifeline. These can be routines, habits, or places that give you a sense of stability when everything else is in flux.
For me, journaling has become that sacred anchor. It’s my time to slow down, be present, and listen to myself. Every morning, I grab my journal and simply ask:
“What am I feeling right now?”
This one question opens up so much for me. It’s not just writing things down—it’s about connecting deeply with myself. It helps me embrace all the newness here in Florida, from the excitement of fresh starts to the occasional twinge of missing what I’ve left behind.
Lesson 5: Don’t forget to laugh.
Mistakes happen, especially during a big move.
Like the time we realized we had packed essential items in the wrong boxes. We tore through boxes at midnight, finding only kitchen utensils and winter coats. We ended up using towels as makeshift pillows.
We were stressed, tired, and frustrated beyond belief. But then we laughed about it.
In moments of frustration, finding something to laugh about can shift your perspective and remind you that even in the most chaotic times, there are moments of joy and connection.
Take a moment to think about these points.
- How do you handle change? Do you find yourself trying to control every aspect, getting frustrated, or using humor to cope?
- What unexpected changes have you faced recently? How did you adapt, and what did you learn about yourself in the process?
- How do you support the people around you at times of change? Remember, you’re not the only one experiencing change; those around you are, too.
Change is inevitable, but how we handle it defines our journey. Embrace the unknown, support each other, and don’t forget to laugh along the way.
About Madjeen Lorthe
Madjeen Lorthe, M.Ed., ACC, is a Certified Life & Career Transition Coach and the founder of Transitions Well Done. With over two decades of experience in nonprofit and mental health counseling, she creates a supportive environment that encourages women to embark on journeys of self-discovery and resilience-building. Madjeen guides her clients to balance their professional ambitions and personal goals while prioritizing well-being during major life transitions.
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