2. Loving myself by leaving a Toxic woman behind : stressLess-life

Loving myself by leaving a Toxic woman behind

false

Tonight I decided I was finished with someone. It was hard for me. I have a lot of guilt from a prior relationship, so I assumed many things were my fault. However, she violated a boundary of mine that was very personal to me. This boundary was a big deal, and she kept violating it, over and over. Then she would make excuses for it. I decided enough was enough and told her that she had to apologize and acknowledge my feelings and promise not to do it again if we were to move forward. She did not want to, and she blocked and ghosted me. I ran into her today and she gave me a half assed apology. I asked her if she wanted to have a conversation about it, and she repeatedly blew me off. That’s when I realized she never actually meant what she said, she just wanted to make herself feel better by playing pretend. She kept subtly blaming me and putting me down during the course of our brief conversation as well. She took no accountability whatsoever.

I despaired. She made me feel so worthless. I spent hours typing up a message that accurately portrayed how I felt. I journaled and showered and cried and tried to figure things out. Then I finally sat down and spoke with a friend and this woman set me straight. She opened my eyes. She pointed out that I was patient with her, that I was fair, that what I was asking WASN’T a big deal, but she refused to respect me and that’s not my fault. She made me realize that I should never have to beg just to feel respected or have my feelings acknowledged, that it’s something that should be given.

I ultimately feel taken advantage of, but I am no longer angry or upset. I did the best I could and I finally just figured out I deserve better than her. I try to end these subreddit posts with lessons so here’s one for you all: don’t do what I did. If someone can’t respect you or how you feel, if they can’t even acknowledge your feelings or apologize, then they’re not worth it. You deserve better than that. We all do. Don’t be so starved for love that you get into relationships like this and try to convince yourself it’s normal. You are deserving of love and respect.

Please be kind to yourselves,

DM.

submitted by /u/Smoke-Thin-Mints
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