2. Building self love and compassion : stressLess-life

Building self love and compassion

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Hi, I (20F) have been pretty unhappy with my life for a long time. I would say I was a very happy child and teenager and had at least average, if not high, self esteem. I think most of this stemmed from having many strong friendships, a strong relationship with my family, ambition and interests, and lots of discipline. But in the past couple of years my self image has plummeted. In high school I made some regrettable decisions and cut off lots of people that meant a lot to me out of immaturity, and lashing out from a weakening relationship with my family. Now I really struggle to find people to connect with.

I listened to a podcast recently about inner turmoil, and much of it resonated with me. I never thought that my issues with connecting to people or finding meaning and ambition in my life were stemming from low self esteem, but now I think they might. I think I’m really judgmental and have a pretty inflated ego as a defense mechanism, and these things distance me from both new connections and maintaining healthy ones with people in my life already.

I think maybe I’m struggling a bit with imposter syndrome as I’m pre med at a competitive university. But I wouldn’t say my academic/career aspirations are playing too big a role in these feelings, at least consciously, just cuz I am pulling my weight in those areas.

I really want to be able to overcome my regret and embarrassment about my past behavior, and I really want to be able to improve my self esteem. I think both of these things would open up a lot of opportunities for me, including the ability to build relationships that are real and meaningful. Im genuinely sick of feeling lonely and lethargic and confused and spiteful. I want to feel passionate, loving, empathetic, and excited again.

I guess my question is, what are some actual, applicable steps I can take to begin overcoming my low self esteem? What have other people done to begin building a healthier relationship with themselves? What are small things I can implement on a daily basis to love myself, so I can really accept others? Concrete examples are always appreciated.

Thanks for taking the time to read this :)

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