2. Am I discovering my fears of abandonment?? : stressLess-life

Am I discovering my fears of abandonment??

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I'm not sure what community to post this on, but I'm open to suggestions...

I'm 20f and I am dealing with the transition I assume every young adult goes through after they've graduated high school. I was already a fairly closed off person with a few close friends that I adored before I graduated. I was aware that the people I knew and saw everyday were obviously going to go off to different colleges (frankly everyone I knew wanted to hurry up and leave the state), but I wasn't prepared to have no contact from... anyone. It didn't bother so much, because one of my closer friends stuck around and in hindsight became a sort of lifeline for most of my social interaction. We both ended up getting summer jobs this year, which was a great thing, I live near the coast so every local business gets a bunch of tourists on vacation.

This is where my issue starts, I few weeks ago I was in my feelings and getting stress about work/school/home balance and how it really sucked having to stare at the beach everyday and not have time to get out liked my friend and I used to. all of a sudden I came to the realization my friend stopped reaching out, no messages, no calls or invites to games. I'm used to over-reacting to small things, so I thought it through and summed it up as long-shifts and they must be too busy. Even I got caught up with work, so that had to be the answer. I've sent a few messages, like comments on story posts, friendly voice notes, nothing too overbearing. but the only thing that elicited any type of response, was me breaking our snap streak. It was a complete accident, and I restored it immediately. I sent a genuine apology, but I'm not even sure if they acknowledged it. It hurt to see they would only care about a number verses replying to a message...

While I know this post is a testament that I do care that this has happened, I've realized that this sort of thing is something I am upset about frequently. So, at the moment I'm trying to detach from this dependence that I have on others and it is so hard to feel like I'm going in the right direction. I'm not sure what I'm gaining from this post, but any perspective is welcome. <3

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