2. My sister is in a toxic relationship. What do I do? : stressLess-life

My sister is in a toxic relationship. What do I do?

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Hi.

My sister dated a guy in high school who was very toxic. They eventually ended it because I told her I'd never accept him.

Fast forward to maybe 12 years later, she's now 28 and they're back together for 2 years now. He is still toxic, thankfully not physically abusive, but with him she became toxic as well. She started fighting like him, swearing and acting crazy. It's like she lost all of her dignity and self-respect. They fight maybe once a month but every time it happens it's a huge fight. They shout, almost hit each other, say the nastiest things to one another. Every time she is heart broken, she says I can't do this anymore, it's over this time.

And 10 days later like nothing ever happened. She says she can't imagine her life without him, she hopes he'll change, they even started couples therapy.

Now, the part that gets me pissed and why I'm here asking for help. I don't know how to help her anymore. I am losing my mind. I try being supportive, I try letting her make her own decisions, hoping she'll realise on her own that he is not the one. But she is afraid of being alone, she is afraid she'll never love someone like him again.

And I feel furious hearing that. She is very objectively beautiful, smart, incredibly kind and funny, successful. He, on the other hand, does nothing. Has no drivers license, lost his I.D, has no job, no education. She writes his CV for God's sakes. It makes me so angry how she lowered her standards for a guy.

I don't know how to talk to her anymore when it comes to this. Every time she cries about him I have to clench my fist to avoid shaking her shoulders and yelling at her to stop being an idiot and ruin her life over a guy. Obviously I love her too much to not be there for her and she basically only confides in me because no one in the family can listen to it anymore because they feel powerless. My other sister tells her to break it off and so she stopped telling her things because she feels ashamed every time she gets back together after crying about him.

I don't want her to feel alone. I want to be there for her. But at the same time I want her to make the right choice. But how?

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