2. I must love my coping mechanism : stressLess-life

I must love my coping mechanism

false

As I heal, my coping mechanisms open up, and I start to see myself more clearly. Sometimes I might notice new aspects of myself that I don't always like.I wouldn't want to be as incomplete as my new insights tell me. I wouldn't want there to be anything from my past who’s consequences still feel painful and disturbing. When I find a broken piece, I might not want to accept it right away. I might even agonize and blame myself for still being so broken…

I don’t like the I’ve been through. And I don't have to. There have been painful events in my life, and its course has sometimes been harmful. The events in my past are unfortunate events that shouldn't happen to anyone. I don't have to love them. But I must love the coping mechanisms I adopted to survive those events. They were then good, necessary, and the best I could come up with at that time. What I became is lovable, even if the events I lived through weren't.

When I have a broken piece that I try to keep hidden—even if I’m not aware of it—I am broken. I experience my unconscious brokenness in how the taste of my life experience feels. When I then notice a broken piece, I might feel even more broken than a moment ago. I fight for a while, try to drive it away, and then begin to accept. One paradox of healing is that as soon as I accept my brokenness, I am more whole, even if it doesn't feel like it yet. As long as I reject any broken part of myself, I am not whole. But when I love every part of me—even the broken ones—it is within me as a whole experience. Accepting brokenness makes me whole.

People who are at peace with their shortcomings and brokenness are whole, harmonious, and serene. And my broken parts are not even broken part anymore. They are lovable coping mechanisms that helped me rise above challenging circumstances. They are worthy of great love, gratitude, and acceptance. They are treasures in my life because they helped me survive. I just don't need them anymore. When I love and let go of my no longer needed coping mechanisms, they dissolve. Accepting and loving brokenness makes me whole. Brokenness doesn't require any hatred or rejection. Love heals it.❤️

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