2. Feeling low on self-esteem & compassion (need some tools, in therapy already) : stressLess-life

Feeling low on self-esteem & compassion (need some tools, in therapy already)

false

Hi.

TW: negative. Rant. Might drain you :/

It feels weird sharing things as a stranger and a part of me is scared to have some comments that will make me feel even worse but I still want to give this a shot.

I am in my early 20's and for as lkng as I remember I have had negative self esteem & self love. I am in therapy and have anxiety disorder (on meds too :--)) doing a bit better in terms of other things but my habit of comparing, being jealous and insecure just doesnt leave me.

It is a constant topic with my therapist but with things happening, it always takes a back seat.

I feel like I am below average in every area of my life - career - looks - behaviour - sustaining relationships?

Sometimes I feel like a people pleaser and sometimes, a cold bitch.

And I end up OBSESSING over some people in my life (close or mutuals) to just rant and complaint to myself that how come someone has it all, and I have none.

I have tried practising gratitude but I feel so much of dissatisfaction with every word I say, every eye on the mirror and every action I do. Like the critic in me is overrrrrr critical.

I am curious does it get any better for people like me? Would I ever feel days with zero comparison or jealousy? I feel so bad being jealous and complaining too but jus the inner fight. :/

ThanksForReading.

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