2. It's starting to feel like dating is the opposite of showing up for myself. Musing and discussion are appreciated : stressLess-life

It's starting to feel like dating is the opposite of showing up for myself. Musing and discussion are appreciated

false

Howdy all. Been on a few dates recently, and I've got some thoughts on it. I'd appreciate some thoughts on it

So, I'm a dude, been wanting a girlfriend for a long time, and while I go out on plenty of dates, I've only had a couple of girlfriends

But lately, I feel like dating has been triggering for me. I feel upset after dates even if they go super well. I always thought it was because maybe there was some friction I wasn't seeing, some incompatibility, whatever

I'm not even sure how it came up, but now I'm feeling like it is because the amount of care and effort I show to my dates is care and effort I don't put into my emotional self

I put a lot of effort into the people I'm around. I'm incredibly perceptive and intuitive, and have high demands on how well I treat others. Whether I'm dating them or not

So I'm seeing myself show up for these women I met on dating apps. Like being supportive and understanding and kind. That's just how I expect myself to treat everyone, it doesn't even feel like I'm doing anything special

But maybe because the context is that it's a lot more personal with these women when we start getting into heavier topics. So the emotional effort of being kind and supportive is greater

And that's emotional support and kindness I am not giving myself. I am not that nice to myself, in general

I don't know, what do you guys think?

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