2. I don’t know what to do : stressLess-life

I don’t know what to do

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This all starts with a girl let’s call her gab. Last year we had history together and I thought she was cute but then we were sat at the same table and then I realized she was beautiful, in my eyes she was perfect. That being said I never really talked to her because I was always to nervous and always told myself she was out of my league. There were times where I thought maybe she actually does like me because of certain encounters, probably the biggest clue was on a day where we had to dress up for a big presentation and I went the extra mile, as we were setting up she calls me to the side with her friends and tells how I good I look, I thought she was just being nice so I said thank you and kinda went quiet, that’s when gab’s friend says “what your not gonna tell her how pretty she is?”, then gab started blushing and I got nervous and just laughed and said yeah, then I walked away, I think about this day a lot. There were several interactions like this but I always chalked it up to me being delusional up until this year. Gab plays basketball and her coach is a teacher that I’m a TA for, one day her coach comes up to me and says I have a secret admirer. I hoped it was gab but thought I shouldn’t get my hopes up, but the more I thought about it the more it made sense. After like two months of thinking I ask her coach and, gab was my secret admirer, this was huge. I finally had the confidence to go up and try talking to her. The first day went great, then it all went to shit, she would leave me on delivered for hours and I tried giving her the benefit of the doubt saying she was probably busy but after a while I got tired of it. So then I confessed and told her I liked her, she said she wasn’t sure because she wasn’t looking for anything, I took this as a nice rejection. After this I asked her coach if she was sure gab liked me, her coach said gab told her personally she thought I was cute, then her coach said that gab got a boyfriend and that they recently broke up and it has been hard on gab. Then I started thinking that maybe she just needed some time to heal. After weeks nothing changed, then I got the idea to ask my friend to try talking to her to see if she gives anybody attention because she is popular, at first she would respond to me and not him but one day I asked if she responded to him and she did like 20 minutes before I asked while I was on delivered for like 7 hours. After hearing this I cried blasting music on my headphones, I removed her on insta and blocked and unblocked her on snap so she wouldn’t see I unadded her. This night was horrible because now I knew that she wasn’t busy, she would just ignore me. I thought this wasn’t the end of it but a few days later she added me back on insta and snap through search, after thinking for a day I added her back and she asked why I unadded her and I told her I just wanted to move on and that I still liked her, she said she just wasn’t looking for anything, also saying she didn’t want to hurt me but that she wanted to be friends. I said we could try being friends. We didn’t really talk though, I didn’t want to try anything because I didn’t want to make her uncomfortable or anything, then one day she asked to play Minecraft and for the next two days she was replying very fast, this is kinda big because i knew she played lots of Fortnite so when I first started talking to her I asked her to play a few times but we never did, then one day she asked me to play fort, I said yes and to let me know when she could play, then she just never brought it up again, but this time we actually did play Minecraft, this was last Sunday, after that she has gone back to just leaving me on delivered all day so I’m assuming she is just ignoring me again. I don’t know what to do, I’m trying to be friends but deep down I want to be more than that, I lost weight and started taking better care of myself but it didn’t help, I don’t know her super well but she is all I can think about, it hurts so fucking bad to know she just ignores me.

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