2. How to stop wanting relationships and focus on yourself? : stressLess-life

How to stop wanting relationships and focus on yourself?

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Title says it all — I’m in the middle of getting my life turned around after digging up a bunch of unresolved childhood issues, and learning how to love myself is my #1 goal right now.

However, my subconscious/“right brain”/whatever you wanna call it is still fixated on the idea of seeking love and validation through others, which led to the good old “oh, as soon as you find someone who loves you, you’ll be happy all the time!” trap lol. And that’s not to say that wanting a relationship is a bad thing; I just know it’s not what’s best for me right now — I wanna focus EXCLUSIVELY on learning to love myself, not learning to love someone else.

But wanting a relationship is a hard thing to talk yourself out of, so does anyone have any advice? Per my therapist, I’ve been going on “dates with myself” the past few Fridays, and while it’s nice to get out and about, there’s very much a sense of “so what am I supposed to do now?” when I get to whatever event/venue the “date” is at 😆 — I also imagine positive affirmations are a big help, but for some reason I freeze up and have a really hard time getting those out when the time comes to use them.

Also, fwiw, I haven’t been in a relationship in about nine years (I was 15), but 99% of that is just due to me being too anxious and paranoid to ever actually ask any of my crushes out — so I imagine that contributes to a sense of “romanticization” when it comes to this stuff lol

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