2. positive personal progress vent (slight tw) : stressLess-life

positive personal progress vent (slight tw)

https://ift.tt/YZifFbe

Just want to make a nonsensical vent because I feel good about myself

I've struggled a lot with self harm and general poor mental health the past year, especially panic attacks and bad depressive episodes, I fucked up my last year of school quite badly and came out with Ds and Es in my subjects. I was awful - I wouldn't eat normal meals, barely went outside if not for school, wash, study, my bedroom was genuinely filthy, I averaged like 3-4 hours sleep at night and I would literally spend 12+ hours on my phone a day. I was literally rotting away and routinely c//ting myself out of self loathing

Turn this year I've already made a lot of progress - I just started talking to people, seen a councellor a few times and they've helped me and I genuinely feel so proud already. Last 2 weeks i've been eating more regular meals, getting into a planned study routine, talking with my family more and I managed to get 8 hours sleep for the first time in around a year (its actually so difficult to sleep for extended periods of time without waking up at like 2am to be honest haha)....I legit feel so good. I'm going outside, enjoying music, reading, writing, playing guitar, just like "normal" person stuff and actually taking time for myself and treating myself to genuine comforts instead of shit talking myself 24/7. It feels good and I've only just started it. I feel like a new person

I self harmed for the last time on the 1st January and so far haven't relapsed yet after doing it routinely for almost 18 months. I feel back on track after a shitty 18 months and my grades have already gone up to Bs and Cs after such a short amount of time. If I relapse, I know where I can turn. I can finally see myself at university in September and I feel like a real person again.

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