How I Found My “Why” in Life After Struggling for Years:stressless3
How I Found My “Why” in Life After Struggling for Years
https://ift.tt/iLlexF1
“Your purpose in life is to find your purpose and give your whole heart and soul to it.” ~Gautama Buddha
Each time I start a new course, training, or venture, the teacher or leader asks me “why?” “Why are you here?” “Why are you taking this course?” “What’s your ‘why’?” “What’s your purpose?”
And I’m never prepared.
You’d think by now, after all the years of working on myself and studying, I would have an answer on the tip of my tongue.
Yet, I find “why” to be a difficult question to answer.
I have wondered, “Do I really not know? What’s the block?”
Then it dawned on me.
The reason I find it difficult to answer the “why” question is because I don’t have just one.
I have so many whys and I’m motivated by so many things that my head just gets overwhelmed and rolls up into a ball when I think I have to come up with just one.
So I get stuck, draw a blank, and can’t answer the question.
This was an enlightening insight for me because previously I thought I was only allowed to have one purpose.
Yes, allowed.
I would take what the authors, teachers, and books told me about purpose very seriously. I thought they really meant I could only have one all-encompassing purpose, and that’s that!
So I spent a great deal of time trying to figure that big purpose out, to find, as one teacher guided me, the “why that could make me cry.” To no success.
It was a relief when I realized and accepted how multi-faceted my purpose actually is.
It doesn’t make it wrong, bad, or insufficient. It makes me smile and relax and allows me to enjoy the many aspects of my being.
It has brought me a stronger sense of inner peace also, by letting go of trying to fit myself into a mold that someone else made.
That’s right. I am breaking the mold and creating my own one.
Here’s what I mean by a multifaceted purpose.
Purpose #1: Personal Growth
Without a doubt, I am driven by my relentless interest in growing as a person in all aspects of my life.
For example, I read a lot about health and fitness. I’ve been doing CrossFit for over four years. I’m always adjusting my diet to find one that works even better for me. I love growing into the best health and fitness version of myself.
The vision of myself at a CrossFit class when I am ninety is a huge motivator for me. I don’t ever want to be a burden on my loved ones. That’s wrapped up in this “why” also.
I have studied psychology, trained as a therapist, and been in different forms of therapy my whole life. There are amazing emotional teachers and healers who I follow.
I am always striving to grow into the happiest, most well-balanced person I can be who is kind, supportive, and loving to myself and others.
My spirituality is my rock. I have meditated for over forty years. I have read spiritual books and studied ancient texts in school. I listen, I learn, I try. I hope to keep raising my consciousness forever.
And I learn about my craft, my work, my business. I never stop learning.
Yes, indeed, personal growth is one of my “whys” in life.
Purpose #2: Fulfilling My Potential
I have always had the idea that I was capable of much more.
I was an athlete as a child. I played and watched a lot of sports.
I was uplifted and excited when I saw people breaking records and pushing themselves beyond what anyone thought was possible.
And I loved the arts. I was mesmerized by ballet dancers doing extraordinary things on stage. And musicians performing at their best. Even paintings by remarkable painters took my breath away.
It’s genius that I was seeing. People pushing themselves to be the very best they were capable of.
The idea that humans, meaning me too, could excel in that way fascinated and captivated me.
I want to do that too. Fulfilling my potential is a huge “why” in my life.
Purpose #3: Making a Difference
I want to alleviate suffering in the world.
Perhaps seeing my parents suffering with sadness and depression and not being able to help them fuels this purpose.
Even so, my drive to alleviate suffering has evolved into something very satisfying and motivating.
It is the cornerstone of my work; it colors all my relationships. It gives me a reason that is beyond myself.
Being of service is another way of looking at this particular “why.”
I’ve noticed that if I’m not careful, my first two “whys,” personal growth and fulfilling my potential, will keep my focus a little too self-centered.
I really do want to be a catalyst for positive change in people. It’s also pretty clear that I’m not driven to go out there to actually change the whole world.
At times, I have felt some guilt for not being more active for social change.
But over the years, I have come to understand that the change I help facilitate in the world is very personal, individual, and intimate. And that’s okay.
Whether it’s friends, family, or clients, nothing feels more meaningful to me than seeing someone’s whole energy shift, burdens lift, and excitement return to their faces.
Pretty sure my love of alleviating suffering counts as part of my life purpose.
So let’s try this again.
“What’s your why?” you ask?
“It’s personal growth, fulfilling my potential, and alleviating suffering in others.”
That just makes me so happy. There is such a life lesson here in my awareness of my multifaceted purpose.
We are so influenced by others’ teachings that sometimes we forget to look deep inside ourselves for the answers we seek.
Yes, we can learn wonderful things from the stories and studies of people, yet our truest and most profound learnings must come from within.
Rather than taking lessons at face value, we must explore them, put them on like a new piece of clothing to see how it fits, how we look, if it suits us, and if we really like it.
We want guidance to resonate with us. That means it’s in alignment with our nature.
Having one purpose just didn’t fit me. I’m not a one-size-fits-all kind of person.
And now, allowing myself to be myself, to recognize and embrace my multifaceted purpose, has given me much more inner peace.
The internal struggle with myself has subsided.
I get to be who I am, regardless of what the experts may teach.
Uh oh, I think I may have landed on another “why.” What’s my purpose in life?
Purpose #4: To be myself
I love it.
About Lisa Garber
Lisa is an avid meditator, CrossFit enthusiast and a psychotherapist turned life coach. She’s very skilled at getting you unstuck and moving toward your goals and dreams. You can find more insights and adventures on Lisa’s blog https://lisagarber.com . And you can follow her on Instagram @lisagarbercoaching.
Get in the conversation! Click here to leave a comment on the site.
Related links
I want to know the mind and emotions of a man towa. I want to understand what he is thinking and feeling at any given time. I want to know what makes him happy and what makes him sad. I want to know what he fears and what motivates him. I want to know his hopes and dreams. I want to know everything about him.
Addiction Is Messy, But These Things Help Me Stay Clean
5 Ways to Use Movement (Not Exercise) to Support Your Mental Health
My Second Mother: When Someone Steps Up Like Family Never Did
just sitting silently
How to Release the Fear That Holds You Back and Keeps You Small
What Happiness Means and How I’m Boosting My Day-to-Day Joy
why am i always in one-sided relationships
Psychological behaviour of husband with his wife who failed in love before marriage
What makes you dislike yourself?
When You’re Ready for Change: You Need to Believe in Your Future Self
4 Anxiety-Calming Techniques I Wish I Used When I Freaked Out on a Plane
What type of doctors experience the most stress?
Why is it significant to overcome stress?
How I Stopped Chasing Men Who Hurt Me and Found Healthy Love : #stressless
Stay Comfortable
I have irrational thoughts that she’s better than me
Skills That You Can Learn From (A2) Trying Harder Isn\\\'t Always The Answer:stressLess-life.
How do we know what we want in our lives?
5 Simple Yet Essential Self Care Tips That Can Change Your Life
#2 . How do I stop putting my worth based on how men see me? : stressLess-life
Self love challenge - looking for a group to join!
People-Pleasers Are Liars: 3 Things We Gain When We’re Honest Instead
How to Deal With Low Moods: A 4-Step Plan to Help You Feel Better
One words to define love story Hater
does depression affect sperm quality
What is the difference between stress and emotions? The WHO has defined them as two different life skills and I am not able to make a difference.
What are some signs that show a lack of confidence in a person's speech or behavior?
Is it good to live hubby without love or marry to BF?
growing up as the only black member of a white family movie
separation anxiety mother symptoms
why self-love and self-care is important
I am very sad every day. I have decided not to live. What should I do?
why am i losing interest in things i used to love
never waste your feelings on someone who doesn't value your emotions meaning in hindi
I am very sad every day. I have decided not to live. What should I do?
Why is it significant to overcome stress?
Can-I-reduce-my-stress?
https://stressless-2021.blogspot.com/2022/06/reduce-my-stress.html
Getting Out Of A Slump
Me Exercising/dancing to Unbelievable by EMF. Not too great, but started doing this at 57 yrs......truly my inner child is coming out to play!:stressLess-life
Abandonment Issues
Increasing and practicing self worth and self love:stressLess-life
(A2) LIFE AND LOVE???:stressLess-life
Neon Genesis Evangelion and validating ones own existence:stressLess-life
Calmed myself down with loving energy.:stressLess-life
"Why do you forgive everyone but yourself?”:stressLess-life
How to accept belly fat?:stressLess-life
admiring myself all 2022 ??:stressLess-life
Self love feels so lonely:stressLess-life
Increasing and practicing self worth and self love:stressLess-life
(A2) LIFE AND LOVE???:stressLess-life
Neon Genesis Evangelion and validating ones own existence:stressLess-life
Calmed myself down with loving energy.:stressLess-life
"Why do you forgive everyone but yourself?”:stressLess-life
How to accept belly fat?:stressLess-life
admiring myself all 2022 ??:stressLess-life
Self love feels so lonely:stressLess-life
😄 " Forget the past; look forward to the future, for the best things are yet to come. ..... "
Post a Comment