2. I'm giving up on the idea of ever being fully confident in myself : stressLess-life

I'm giving up on the idea of ever being fully confident in myself

https://ift.tt/he5lGYC

There's a whole narrative that goes with confidence/self love: you are worthy just for being you, you should focus on your positive qualities, etc.

There's the common advice that one should avoid dating with low self esteem and should focus on developing self confidence and love before venturing into the dating world.

I've heard this all before and I've really been trying to bring myself inch by inch to this distant version of myself who is so confident that I simply attract people and opportunities to me.

Unfortunately, as of recent, I just don't see myself ever getting to that point.

I often say I'm burdened with self awareness. I would say I have a pretty thorough idea of where I stand in society and what I bring to the table.

I'm super average looking, I wouldn't say I'm ugly but I do not feel that I am particularly attractive. I received little male attention growing up, I had one guy try to ask me out and I think it was more motivated based on us spending a lot of time around each other than anything else (it was not a flattering experience, he also was threatening people to tell him info about me).

Another way I can tell I'm not very attractive is the fact that I have consistently had trouble matching with the guys I like on dating apps and when I do, they either never engage in conversation or the convo just fizzles out.

I'm fit, I eat well and I do my best to look after my overall health. I do my best to look presentable. The only ways I think I could improve my appearance further would be to invest in a ton of makeup or get cosmetic surgery, which I simply cannot afford.

I also have no significant talents and am of pretty average intelligence.

I do not believe there is anything truly special about me.

People don't gravitate toward me or seek me out. My friend group from high school easily left me behind and I have less and less people reaching out now that I'm out of college. Even my closest friends don't really reach out to check up on me or ask how I'm doing.

I've done my best to be a loyal friend and check up on the people around me but I just seem really easy to move on from.

I think about the people that I admire/am attracted to, people who are beautiful and gifted, and I know that I'm most likely never going to be like them.

I don't really know how I'm supposed to feel confident in myself when I've received near complete confirmation that I make very little impact and there's nothing really noteworthy about me. I don't know how to be confident in myself when I know I'm completely average.

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