2. My self-esteem has hit a low point, does anyone have advice? : stressLess-life

My self-esteem has hit a low point, does anyone have advice?

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For context: I've gone through some highs and lows with my image, but I can usually find a solution to make my self feel better. Recently I've been under a lot of stress. For most of July; me, my best friend, and her boyfriend went on a big trip to visit and friend and then go to a festival we planned to go to months in advance. I think I handled the drive fine, but being in the car with my friend and her boyfriend was rough because their relationship is very strained and they argued most of the trip (we were gone for 2 weeks and drive about 20 hrs total.). The start of the trip was when I really felt something was off with me. Other than being stressed, there's a few things that specifically made me feel bad: When we reached our friend on the way to the festival, we were meant to stay for the week because she was having a birthday party. The friend( I'll call her friend B) was always a lot closer with my best friend than she was with me, which is okay! I understood that we didn't have the same friendship with each other and I really wanted to be supportive for her. While we stayed with friend B, I found myself being abandoned or left alone in rooms while the rest of them would talk in another room. I felt that if I did follow them that i would be intrusive, so avoided that situation and usually waited for someone to come back. This is when I started feeling sad, later in the week friend B's parents would come over and I started to feel a lot better because her parents are overall very sweet. More specifically her mother would refer to us as Friend B's Best friends and to me this was enough reassurance to get through the week. The next reason, I'm not sure if it's jealousy or declining self esteem or if they go hand and hand, but I've gotten many reminders of how beautiful my best friend is. Saying it, thinking it, makes me feel disgusted with myself. My best friend (friend A) has struggled with mental health and relationship issues, and she has strive to be such a strong, independent person that make me incredibly proud. Recently over the course of the festival and doing some work together, I painfully noticed that when we are together and she will be greeted or flirted with by guys while am ignored. It's bittersweet because I know it must be annoying and scary to be approached by men and should feel lucky I don't get approached and risk getting assaulted because of how I look. This week we met a very handsome guy around our age while at work and we both acknowledged it (that's rare for me aswell, since I typically don't find men physically attractive or admit to it, but he was FINE). While we were working, he would casually talk with her or ask questions to get to know her, we were all doing heavy cleaning on a boat. The only time he spoke to me was when he ask friend A about my car and she let me answer his question. I didn't think much of if until we headed home and got food on the way, and she started looking for any profile with his first name and said stuff like "if only I was single" "he's my type" and at the time I was just thinking to myself 'when is it my turn'? That being said, I don't like comparing myself to her. I think of her very highly, and I wish I wouldn't be so upset that I don't look as pretty as her or attract the same attention. Has anyone been through this? What should I do?

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