2. I've never been in a relationship, everyone said "Work on yourself and your self esteem/confidence" and "It'll come when you stop looking." I got back into therapy, started self esteem work and... : stressLess-life

I've never been in a relationship, everyone said "Work on yourself and your self esteem/confidence" and "It'll come when you stop looking." I got back into therapy, started self esteem work and...

https://ift.tt/QUt1lom

I'm (22F) still single and, unfortunately, pretty damn miserable.

One big thing I've learned from self esteem work is that your personal circumstances can really negatively impact self esteem.

Unfortunately, I don't see my circumstances changing much in the near future.

I'm broke. I just started a new internship and it gives me free housing but the pay is really not great. I also have upcoming credit card and student loan debt payments so I'm gonna have a good chunk of my already limited income taken away.

I'm also REALLY lonely. I don't have roommates and the silence is really getting to me. People often talk about how great it is to have your own place and how roommates can be so awful and idk, I have to say, as someone who has had HORRIFIC roommates, I think I would still prefer to have at least one instead of none. I can't even get a pet due to the housing rules.

I don't really know anyone in the area. I talk to my coworkers but none of them are really my age and they all have their own partners and personal lives they're invested in.

I already had a pretty small number of friends but I've had more and more people stop reaching out as they spend more time with their partners and on their personal goals.

I feel so, SO alone. I can't help but crave partnership.

As you get older, people rely more and more on a partner for all of their social needs: friendship, support, intimacy.

I can't help but desire these things for myself.

I watch or read scenes from romance books and movies and I ache cause I want love in my life so badly.

I want to feel cared for. I want someone that actually looks forward to spending time with me. And I want to do the same for that person.

Despite this, I know that I need to keep abstaining from dating. I know I have too many issues to be a good partner right now and that I won't be a good partner until I am capable of being at peace with myself and fully confident in who I am. I don't want to dump enormous responsibility on my partner, they should not be my savior, they should be the compliment to an already fulfilling life.

I know I need to keep bettering myself and need to shift my focus to that.

It's just so, SO, SO hard when you feel so lonely and hopeless.

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