2. I can't love myself : stressLess-life

I can't love myself

https://ift.tt/Q71MIk3

Its so hard being, well myself. Im tired of it, i hate myself. I hate my looks, i hate my Biological rots, i hate how my life is going and how i am what i did and what i didn't do.

The entire reason i want to change is to be seen as „worthy and good” and nit really because of myself, partly but to 90% because of hopes for validation.

I can't do things purely for myself, i always need a push or bad experiences to change.

Its like i dont even concider myself at all.

So often when i was myself, i was not really well liked and got the taste off words from others.

„Your annoying, your weird, your dumm, whats wrong with you, im not gonna do this with her” etc.

To name a few.

It just hurts and i think that if im not myself and just are different and play a different character and change my apperance and become attractive than im „good”.

Then im validated because that's what everyone cares about, it feels like most people besides some Family members will never care about how i am or take me seriously anyways so whats the point of being myself then?

If im constantly mistreated and hurt for being myself, whats the freaking point?

Its not the right way but if im myself and this ugly im not gonna be loved anyways.

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