2. Having hope again : stressLess-life
Having hope again
https://ift.tt/ZncIz9DThis is just my personal opinion and experience so just take what resonates. I just hope that this sparks a glimmer of hope or love in someone's life, this would be more than worth it for me.
I realised that there is a pattern in my life that Im making, its that I keep running away from situations. I keep quiting jobs, quitting schools, and running away from social interactions. I kept giving excuses on why I did what I did. 'Oh its because im protecting my mental health, people are exhausting and fake, I dont vibe with those people, its because the work is a dead end job, I dont see myself in this field of work in the future', and so on.
Since I was so busy distracting myself with my phone and music every waking moment, I didnt have much time to reflect, think of this pattern in my life, seek help from people and solve the problem instead of blaming on others and myself. I just thought that I was socially inept, an incapable person and was just fundamentally unlovable.
But do I really want to be this way and feel like this for the rest of my life? No, I want to have hope for the future and not dread everyday. I want to be proud of who I am and have a fulfilling life with people I love. I have been feeling so stuck in my own negativity loop that I couldnt see much hope and that this is all there is to my life. I would just live a depressing life till I die. Others are living happy and contented lives while I am somehow an anomaly that lives a boring and depressing life.
Then I went on Tiktok and saw people that are positive and inspiring, that are actually so down to earth and loving. They have people that they love and love them in their life. That was what I wanted. Then I saw that they were proactive in their lives, they ask people to hang out with them and not having so much negative self talk to the point of isolating themselves. They try to talk to people and not just stuff their ears with earphones when being around people. Their hearts are open to people and experiencing the joy of being with people. It was nice to see life from their perspective, everything seemed more alive.
I realised that there are so many kind and loving people out there. Its just that I keep focusing on the nasty people that disapointed me in the past that I eventually gave up hope that I can connect with people and share love with others. Sure, there were bad people but so were there good. I have a good heart and I am a nice person that genuinely wants to love people so there are also people like me out there. There are 7 billion (or 8 idk) people, so it wouldnt be possible to have only one kind person that is you. Genuine kindness and love still exist.
Ive read "Man's search for meaning" by Viktor Frankl initially for my depression but I have found so much hope that even in the worst circumstance, it is when people's nature and love really shine through. Even in such dire circumstance, people help, support and love each other. It is who they are and people dont just show people niceness to get something out of them. Yes, some do but others are genuinely loving.
Even if I currently dont have people that I am close with, I believe that I would meet people in the future that I can form close bonds with. Also learning to be proactive and knowing that rejection wont kill me helped me a ton. So what if people dont like you or ignore you. I can let go and move on with my life, there are other things that are important. I can choose to dwell and focus on the rejection and failure or I can just shrug it off, tell myself that its alright and Ive done a good job.
$$Ive read "7 habits of highly effective people" and applying the 1st habit of being proactive already changed my life for the better. Star Jesse Taylor on youtube have also helped tremendously in this. I have reached out to others, I am starting to learn cycling as an adult, learning gymnastic and yoga (I am doing these because I want to and for myself, not because of impressing others or for the sake of having a hobby so I am deemed a more interesting/worthy person). I have always feared that I am too old to learn cycling and I am too embarrassed to even admit it, so dont even mention learning it. But screw it, I want to learn what I want, not by how others judge and think of me. I feel awkward and embarrassed dancing but I have always admired dancers and the way they vibe to the music so I will try it out even if I look silly and weird. I saw the gymnast doing their thing, thought how I wouldve loved to also learn gymnastic but Im too old for this but who says? I learn what I freakin want. I am asking my classmates I lost touch with to hang out even though it is uncomfortable and awkward as hell, I think they might not hang out with me cause I seemed aloof back then, and I might or might not get rejected. But at least Ive tried and wouldnt live with the what ifs in my head 10 years later when I am lonely and friendless, thinking what I couldve done now.
But what if things turn out well? What if future us were glad that we took a leap of faith to get the life we want? I am proud that I am brave and courageous to live out the life I want instead of caving in to fear and doing what it tells me to do. Its either you act or be acted upon. Don’t wait for things/life to happen to you and hope that it turns out well. Just do what you want, dont overthink it. Make your actions/what you do based on what you value (relationships, health, love, etc) not based on avoiding emotions or thoughts. Ignore the uncomfortable emotions and thoughts if they dont align with your values, they would be there for sometime because you are stepping out of your comfort zone.
I want to live life knowing that this is the best that I have done, I couldnt change anything in the past because young me didnt know better and did what she thought was best. Its alright because I know what I can do now. Just let go what you cant control and see what you can and do it. Its ok to feel fear and negative emotions, take it easy, baby steps. Be loving to yourself like you would to a friend you love. Try to be empathetic, understanding, encouraging to yourself. Say loving and encouraging things to yourself instead of critisizing yourself. See that you are trying, see what you have done well, and give yourself praise that you have done a good job. Love goes a longer way than criticism. It fuels and encourages you rather than drain you in the long run. I love you guys and i believe that you guys can do it :)
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