2. Coworker crush turned bad : stressLess-life

Coworker crush turned bad

https://ift.tt/3sdFYzj

TL;DR: had a crush on coworker, we became friends but one day she decided to cut ties out of nowhere. Now she is flirting with a guy I am very envious of. Don't know if it is good for me to exit the friend group. I hate myself for creating this situation.

Early this year I (25M) started going out with a coworker (30F) older than me. For two months she kept inviting me almost every evening, she even brought me to the birthday of the daughter of her friend from high-school. She told me about her problems and her insecurities (a lot). I thought a good friendship was blossoming: I had a crush on her but I was not willing to rush things; we also both come out from serious relationships turned out badly. So I opened up about my insecurities too.

After opening up she started acting a lot colder: she stopped inviting me, talking about serious matters, and we were going out in our friend group she started flirting with another guy (younger than me), and I mean a lot. The other friends also kept pushing this. There's no other way to put it so I will say it directly: I was, and still am, envious of him. Good-looking, mature, funny, charismatic: all things I worked hard about but simply are not meant for me, and I have to accept it. I thought I was masking my sadness, but a friend told me it was showing.

During the last meetings we had I started acting drunk, moaning about my destiny of loneliness: I was not able to control it. Her, her best friend and the guy she is flirting with now consider me an immature mess and make sure thag I know that they are annoyed when I'm around. My crush also (kindly) told me she had something to say to me about my insecurities that would end up prove me wrong about my destiny.

A few days ago I asked her out to confront her. I apologised for my actions but I also asked her an answer: why did she cut ties? She told me (angrily) that I will never be able to understand the answer and to find one myself because it is none of her business, like her opinion of me is none of mine. She said I am just crazy, unable to understand our friendship. That something she was talking about never came, she refused to say it. She told me to practice self love more and, I mean, she is right about this but it is not like I do not work hard on myself: I actually always did even if I'm probably late on certain things.

The answer I came up with does not satisfy me: she wanted someone able to listen to her when she was feeling down, and when she did not need it anymore, she set me apart; she acts like a strong woman but in reality she is still attached to an image of a man that has to be strong and have always his life all together, as only women are allowed to show insecurities and talk about them. This answer does not satisfy me and, actually, it was my therapist coming up with this.

I don't know if the best for me is to exit the friend group. The only two people that still want to talk to me without lashing out on me said that if I exit the friend group I force them to choose me or her, and they can't choose me or both.

I don't know how to manage this and I deeply hate me for this situation.

submitted by /u/AdventurousFinger166
[link] [comments]








Related links


I want to know the mind and emotions of a man towa. I want to understand what he is thinking and feeling at any given time. I want to know what makes him happy and what makes him sad. I want to know what he fears and what motivates him. I want to know his hopes and dreams. I want to know everything about him.


Addiction Is Messy, But These Things Help Me Stay Clean


5 Ways to Use Movement (Not Exercise) to Support Your Mental Health


My Second Mother: When Someone Steps Up Like Family Never Did


just sitting silently


How to Release the Fear That Holds You Back and Keeps You Small


What Happiness Means and How I’m Boosting My Day-to-Day Joy


why am i always in one-sided relationships


Psychological behaviour of husband with his wife who failed in love before marriage


What makes you dislike yourself?


When You’re Ready for Change: You Need to Believe in Your Future Self


4 Anxiety-Calming Techniques I Wish I Used When I Freaked Out on a Plane


What type of doctors experience the most stress?


Why is it significant to overcome stress?


How I Stopped Chasing Men Who Hurt Me and Found Healthy Love : #stressless


Stay Comfortable


I have irrational thoughts that she’s better than me


Skills That You Can Learn From (A2) Trying Harder Isn\\\'t Always The Answer:stressLess-life.


How do we know what we want in our lives?


5 Simple Yet Essential Self Care Tips That Can Change Your Life


#2 . How do I stop putting my worth based on how men see me? : stressLess-life


Self love challenge - looking for a group to join!


People-Pleasers Are Liars: 3 Things We Gain When We’re Honest Instead


How to Deal With Low Moods: A 4-Step Plan to Help You Feel Better


One words to define love story Hater





does depression affect sperm quality


What is the difference between stress and emotions? The WHO has defined them as two different life skills and I am not able to make a difference.


What are some signs that show a lack of confidence in a person's speech or behavior?


Is it good to live hubby without love or marry to BF?


growing up as the only black member of a white family movie


separation anxiety mother symptoms


why self-love and self-care is important


I am very sad every day. I have decided not to live. What should I do?


why am i losing interest in things i used to love


never waste your feelings on someone who doesn't value your emotions meaning in hindi


I am very sad every day. I have decided not to live. What should I do?


Why is it significant to overcome stress?

Can-I-reduce-my-stress?

https://stressless-2021.blogspot.com/2022/06/reduce-my-stress.html

Getting Out Of A Slump

Me Exercising/dancing to Unbelievable by EMF. Not too great, but started doing this at 57 yrs......truly my inner child is coming out to play!:stressLess-life

Abandonment Issues



Increasing and practicing self worth and self love:stressLess-life

(A2) LIFE AND LOVE???:stressLess-life

Neon Genesis Evangelion and validating ones own existence:stressLess-life

Calmed myself down with loving energy.:stressLess-life

"Why do you forgive everyone but yourself?”:stressLess-life

How to accept belly fat?:stressLess-life



admiring myself all 2022 ??:stressLess-life



Self love feels so lonely:stressLess-life



Increasing and practicing self worth and self love:stressLess-life

(A2) LIFE AND LOVE???:stressLess-life

Neon Genesis Evangelion and validating ones own existence:stressLess-life

Calmed myself down with loving energy.:stressLess-life

"Why do you forgive everyone but yourself?”:stressLess-life

How to accept belly fat?:stressLess-life



admiring myself all 2022 ??:stressLess-life



Self love feels so lonely:stressLess-life









😄 " Forget the past; look forward to the future, for the best things are yet to come. ..... "