2. Every relationship I have had I end up seld destructing and hurting the other person. I want to stop : stressLess-life

Every relationship I have had, I end up seld destructing and hurting the other person. I want to stop

https://ift.tt/LBdko6p

I want to learn how to love myself enough to allow myself to have a healthy relationship without self destructive when I feel uncomfortable.

I am currently draling with the end of a relationship and hate myself for creating a situation that has left me broken.I [M33] ended things with my gf [F31] in December, because I wasn't in a position to give her the engagement ring she wanted in the time she wanted.

She wanted to get engaged next year, I was not financially ready to give her that, nor stable enough in my career to provide for her. This was my issue qhich i projected onto her.I felt her drifting away and so ended things, thinking we both wanted separate things.

I regretted my decision within a month. We spoke every now and again but we weren't talking about getting back together. It was too much, so I said I wanted no contact unless we spoke about getting back together.

After a couple months no contact, I wrote to her, apologising for everything and explaining what was going in my mind as well as sharing memories and things I love about her.

Her reply a couple weeks a go and she only wants to speak to me once she is over me. U

Now I'm struggling so much. It hurts we aren't together. It hurts that I created this situation by acting out of ego and emotion. I can't believe I let someone who I loved and csred for and who loved and cared for me to disappear from my life.

I can't stop crying at night. I cant concentrate at work. I can't move on and I can't forgive myself.

But I want to.

Unfortunately, this isn't the first time in my life where I have rejected love and ended a relationship despite being so happy in it.

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