2. Self love after losing all hope in love. : stressLess-life

Self love after losing all hope in love.

https://ift.tt/QpFzhNv

I found the 4 page “letter” I wrote before our last therapy session. I am literally BEGGING this man (who is obviously incapable of real love) to love me. In the letter, I wrote how he’d brush me off, manipulate me to keep me around.. thing is.. I knew when it was over. I knew when he stopped telling me that he loved me that he was already infatuated with someone else. In the therapy session, he broke up with me claiming he just needed to focus on himself and his child (that his mom was pretty much raising).. then two weeks later he’s on a mountain trip that we were supposed to go on with his “new” girlfriend. I still feel so stupid for believing him.. and still thinking that maybe a part of him (that I thought I knew) was real. I have come to terms that the only person I have ever loved doesn’t truly exist. I was just a part of a continuing cycle in his life. All of his relationships are the same. All I wanted was to be loved as hard as I loved.

Although most days I want to hate him and wish I never met him.. at the end of the day, I’m thankful. I now love myself more than ever. I am so comfortable with who I am as a person and sexually.. and for a while I felt love (whether it was real or not on his end). Even if I never love another man again, at least I felt it for that bit of time. Right? Moral of the story: Love when you can, enjoy it.. and ALWAYS LOVE YOURSELF ABOVE ALL.

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