2. Build a home within ourselves : stressLess-life
Build a home within ourselves
https://ift.tt/H9koCd0I left home at 16 years old and have lived in 6 different cities across the globe. Despite going to many places and meeting many different people, I was never able to feel or find a sense of belonging.
My definition of belonging for a very long time was a physical home, a partner and family, friends I surrounded myself with, and a local community. Most of the time, I felt like I belonged to the romantic partner I had and wished they could provide me with a stable, safe home. However, each time the relationship ended, I felt abandoned and homeless. And I desperately sought another person to provide me with this haven. However, it never worked out as I wanted until one day I looked inward and realized that I was searching in the wrong place.
When I started spending time alone and appreciating the silence and stillness around me, I finally broke the old pattern. I used to fear the silence around me because it reminded me of my loneliness. However, when I learned to accept it, sit with it, and let go of my resistance, I was able to overcome the initial discomfort and experience peace, clarity, and relief. In that silence, I heard the voice of my heart. As I listen more, I accept myself more fully.
My mindset toward loneliness also changed as a result of the silence. It dawned on me that loneliness is not about being alone. When we're with the wrong people, we'll feel lonelier than if we're with ourselves. When I feel empty or lonely, my coping mechanism is no longer to seek company from other people but rather to take a pause, notice the silence, sit with it, welcome it into my heart, and listen carefully to what it's telling me. In becoming comfortable with being alone and in silence, I realized I had built a strong foundation of my own home.
As someone who has been away from home for more than 20 years, I've re-defined what belonging means to me now. It has no longer been influenced by external factors. It’s a home that we build within ourselves. Once we have it, no matter where we are in the world and no matter who we are with, we feel at home and belong.
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